When we met in college, Bob never liked chocolate. He was a salt guy all the way. I guess salty snacks go better with beer.
Me? I have the distinction of not really caring where my snacks come from. As long as they are food. Chocolate? Yum. Pretzels? Yum. Put 'em together? Even better.
The problem with that, of course, is that I have the potential to grow to be 500 pounds. Thankfully, I've kept the 500 lbs down to a minimum - haven't gotten there yet. But, as I'm sure you can all relate, eat a piece of chocolate, gain a pound. Right? Well, Bob has always been able to make the switch from beer to light beer and lose 5 pounds. Asshole.
Then, one year ago this month, he quit drinking. Completely. (SO proud of him, BTW!) That's not really the point of this post, though. Here is. WTF is up with him? He's hogging all the chocolate. All of a sudden, he's barking up the chocolate tree, shaking the branches, and all MY chocolate is falling out. He eats chocolate ice cream while watching the 11:00 news. "Honey, want some, too?" Asshole. Where are his salty snacks, dammit? I'm still buying them for him. Well, since he has no interest, and I'm an equal opportunity snacker, guess who is eating all that salt? And we all know it's just so good to retain all that water when you eat salty snacks. Needless to say, he quit drinking, lost 10 pounds WHILE EATING ALL MY CHOCOLATE, I'm eating all the salty snacks and gaining a buttload of water weight, and not getting my chocolate.
Can you tell it's PMS time? I hate men.