My Muse Is A Pain In The Ass...

I had a conversation with my muse. She was beginning to annoy me. Not being around when I needed her to be, and being there when I didn’t need her to be… like in the shower. Or when I’m sleeping.

I said, “Muse, we’ve gotta talk. You’re being extremely difficult lately and you’re not around when I need you.”

“And your point would be?” my Muse said with arched eyebrow.

“Well,” I said, “My friend Sarah, who just happens to be a very successful author, told me that I need to train my muse."

Muse laughed and flitted her fingers at me. “Train? I don’t do training.”

“How come you’re giving me grief? Sarah’s muse doesn’t give her grief, well, not much anyway. Neither do Ann's or Jaci's. What the hell is the deal here?”

“Oh-ho, I’ve heard about Ms. McCarty, Ms. Wesley Hardin, and Ms. Burton. And I don’t blame their muse one bit for conforming to their will. Those women are sca-ry!”

Muse actually shuddered when she said that. What the hell? I'm kinda scary, I think. Maybe. So I ask, “I can be scary. Can’t I?” At this point, Muse is snickering. The bitch. “Well, you’ve got to let me at least try to bend you to my will. I’ve gotta get these chapters done.” It came out as a whine and at this point I couldn't be arsed to care.

Now Muse is looking at her fingernails and picking at a hangnail. “Hmm.” Her eyes meet mine. “I told you, I don’t do training.”

“Well, Muse, you’re gonna have to learn.” It was time to get tough. Pleading my case with the bitch just wasn't working.

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.”

Muse snickers again. “You need me. You can’t kill me.”

“Sure I can. Ever heard of reincarnation?” I ask with an evil grin.

Muse cringes. heh heh

Needless to say with a will that strong Muse is still bucking the system, but she is at least somewhat willing to be at my beck and call. It seems threats do work in cases like this.