In the immortal words of Rodney King...

Can't we all just get along? The fur has been flying over the last few days in our romance blog community, thanks to a certain few posts over at Jaynie's blog. Everyone has an opinion, as well we should. I myself have an opinion, and haven't been shy about giving it to anyone who's asked me. I think, though, that a couple important things have been overlooked here.

First, everybody has feelings. Is anyone else familiar with Marriage Encounter? I grew up in a ME home, where my parents loved to spout off at us, "Feelings are neither right nor wrong; they just are." Growing up, that drivel just bugged the crap out of me, but as an adult, I can certainly understand the point. I feel uncomfortable in a group where the overwhelming majority appear to support an extramarital affair. I feel uncomfortable when my opinion is poo-poed and given little consideration... so little, in fact, that it seemed as though it was 'shut up or get out'. This doesn't make me wrong or right.. it's just how I feel. I'm sure others don't feel that way. That doesn't make them wrong or right. It's just how they feel. (Except of course, when I'm explaining this all to my man to die for, then I'm right and everyone else is wrong. *g*). We have to accept that others may not feel the same as we do. If you can live with that, and still appreciate their other qualities, and overlook the things you don't like or approve of, then you get over it all and move past it. If not, then you pack up your things and go. Which brings me to my second point.

This is the internet. With a few rare exceptions, most of us know each other only from the chatting that we've done online. Yes, thank heavens, most of us are honest, forthright people. But there are a few crackpots out there. Do we know who they are? Probably not. That's the risk you take when you choose to have relationships over the internet. Now, don't anybody go getting their knickers in a twist. I'm not calling anybody a crackpot! I'm just saying that the relationships that we've forged, while some are quite close, all have to be looked at realistically. We really don't know who that person over the computer line is. So I choose to take everything with an extra grain of salt. Cynical? Perhaps. Cocooning and a safety net? You bet.

So, where am I going with all this? Damned if I know. But wherever you stand on the issue, remember that we all have feelings... no one deserves to be bashed indiscriminately. I have no problem voicing my displeasure with someone. Damn, I do it all the time. I just think it can be done in such a way that allows everyone to see our own side of the story (whether they agree with it or not).

While it's important for us all to support our friends, isn't one of the roles of a good friend to let your pal know when you think they're making a big-ass mistake? In our desire to be supportive, it's easy to forget that. It's easy to say, "they didn't ask for my opinion," or "it's none of my business." (Frankly, that last one doesn't fly, since it was out there every day, making it everyone's business, but I digress...). I'm as guilty as the next person. I chose to show my displeasure and disapproval by keeping my mouth shut. I did not participate in the cheerleading for the relationship. But, since I consider this person to be my friend, otherwise, I do still choose to participate in other conversations with her. So, I repeat (to myself), While it's important for us all to support our friends, isn't one of the roles of a good friend to let your pal know when you think they're making a big-ass mistake? In our desire to be supportive, it's easy to forget that.

OK, I've shot my wad on this whole topic. Love fest over.