Dear Bob...

Dear Bob,

Fifteen years ago, we stood in front of our family and friends and swore our love to one another. Everyone there was so relieved, including the rabbi. He made mention of how our relationship was not only rare, it was "well done." He was so flustered that we finally did it (after 9 long years) that he asked you if you took me to be your husband. To which you said No. Which flustered him even more, but made the entire congregation laugh, including us. And when my sister pumped her fist in the air and gave a "Yes!" after we both said our "I Dos", we all laughed again. Our wedding service was a foretelling of our married life – filled with laughter and love.

I remember you singing "By My Side" to me at the reception. A love song you wrote just for me. You woke up in the middle of the night one night and felt me next to you and the words just came to you. I wish I had the talent to express my love to you in a similar fashion. But, alas, I will have to settle for writing you a love letter. One to fold up and place with all the other letters I’ve saved since we met and fell in love in 1985.

The last 24 years have been the most wonderful time of my life. Together we’ve grown up – from teenagers into adults. From selfish, tunnel-visioned kids into open-minded grown-ups with the room in our hearts to encompass our children, our nieces and nephews, our multiple in-laws, and our ever-growing extended family.

I have watched you become a teacher, an uncle, and finally, a father. In each of these roles, you are loving, fair, kind, and compassionate. Your students connect to you in a way that they don’t connect to many others. Our nieces and nephews adore you (how many other uncles out there are nicknamed Uncle Weenie? - Yes, there’s a story attached to this, and no, it’s not perverted.). And I could wax poetic on how amazing a father you are. You have raised up two of the most incredible kids. They are smart, caring, loving, talented kids. Everything that they know about how to treat other people, they learn by your example. You have infinite patience – far more than I!

Our boys will be wonderful to me when we all grow older. They’ve got your example to follow. You take such good care of my mom – no matter what she asks of you, you are always there to fix her TV remote, paint her wall, move her furniture... whatever. Children learn by example, and you set the bar high. I fully expect to be treated like a queen in my dotage. (Feel free to pass that along, BTW).

You’ve shown them the proper way to treat a woman simply by the love and respect that you show me every single day. You always put a smile on my face, always have a gentle touch, never raise your voice, put up with PMS, put up with my book-buying habits, my mood swings, my family, my weight fluctuations... all with a smile and a loving word. Never, ever, ever complaining that there might be something I could do better, or that you wish I was somehow different. You run out to get me ice cream when I crave it. When I have PMS, you find a way for me to be by myself (happy side effect for you is that I’m out of your hair – yes, I’m well aware). You would do anything for me. And I know it. I only hope that you know the feeling is mutual. Oh so mutual.

And did I mention that just looking at you all these years later still makes my heart skip a beat? I love the lines that time has worn on your face. The laugh lines around your blue eyes are gorgeous. I love that your butt still looks un-freakin’-believable in your jeans. I love that you let me warm my cold feet on you in bed without complaint. I love that you have the freakiest sense of humor in the world. And I even love that you have taught our kids to belch and fart properly. How twisted is that? Because you all have fun together doing it. (Ugh). I love that you make me laugh hysterically at the dinner table every night. I love that we finish each other’s sentences. I love that, as the card said and we now jokingly call ourselves, we are two butts with a single mind. And I love that after all these years, you still rock my socks off in bed. Even when we’re laughing at the same time. Which happens a lot.

I wrote this post 2 years ago at our anniversary, and in it still holds true.

You said it best on the first cassette tape you put together of love songs for me, way back in '85...
"You’re my castle, you’re my cabin and my instant pleasure dome.
Wherever we’re together, that’s my home.
You’re my home."*

Our song...
Walk Forever By My Side**

And in the last one you wrote to me, just a few weeks ago...
"I belong to you. I don't know how I know it, but I belong to you. Sometimes I don't show it. But I know I do. Baby, I belong to you."***

All my love and happy anniversary,
LJ













* © Billy Joel
** © The Alarm
*** © Jim Bianco