What a week... sadness and healing faith

First, I got Anne's surprising, horrible, awful news. Then yesterday, I walked in from work after putting in a 12 hour day at the office and Bob met me at the door, red-eyed. "Babe, I have bad news." Bob never meets me at the door. OK, first thought. Who's in the hospital? Who died?

Turns out, it was a very good friend of ours who moved back to Oregon about 5 years ago. Joe was one of the nicest guys I've ever known. He was in our wedding. He was one of the first people Bob met when he first arrived on the Hollywood rock 'n' roll scene 20 years ago after our college graduation. He was one of those guys that would just do anything for you. But he had a hard time keeping his own act together. He had a son and a daughter - both young adults. My heart aches for them both, and for his parents.

We were already planning on going to temple last night, as it was Yarzheit (death anniversary) for my grandfather. This news made it even more imperative, in my mind, that I go. Bob stayed home to make several dreaded phone calls. I kind of lost it during the service. My sons were there, holding my hands, and wrapping me in their love. I have wonderful boys, no matter how much I complain about them. As I said the familiar prayers, and recited the kaddish for Joe, I felt cleansed and even a little healed. And while I bawled my eyes out, it felt good to be in my house of worship, just that much closer to G-d, at peace, where I could hope that at last Joe has also found the peace that so eluded him here.

So tonight, or whenever you read this, hug your loved ones a little tighter. Thank whomever it is that you look to for your blessings. Because even in these trying times, we have our families, our faith, and hope for a better life for ourselves and our children's futures. And realize that even those good long cries that we have can be cleansing, healing, and a little good for us every now and then.

Joe-Bob, wherever you are tonight, know that we love you and we're thinking of you. We miss you.

(excuse the poor quality picture - this is from our wedding, and by the time I cropped out everyone else, the quality was very bad... but nobody else really wants to see themselves on my blog, and y'all aren't interested in seeing all the people from my wedding eons ago)