The Joys of Parenting.... or Is it Summer Yet?

So what do you do when you are all mad at your kids, then they go and do something that knocks the wind right out of your sails? We have had two problems in the last week with Steve at school with inappropriate language. The first one was a note home from the teacher. Seems he was teaching his friends the old calculator trick. You all did it, I'm sure... I know I did. You know, "7734" and then turn it upside down? What's it say? Gimme a break. Let the kids be kids. Ok, so we're good parents. We scold him and tell him that school probably wasn't the best place to show his friends that trick. Oh, and by the way, where did you learn that? (cause it wasn't from us!)

No sooner did we finish the lecture about using 'hell' on a calculator.... the next day arrives a letter in the mail from his teacher. Attached is a little love note. This was a copy of his end of the year writing assessment. Perhaps we might wish to speak to him, because she and the principal were both was a bit disappointed in his word choices. Oy. We open up the xeroxed paper. The end of the year writing assessment was a letter to the principal about his spring break. Lovely. Steve waxes poetic about our ski vacation, his brother's broken leg, blah blah blah. Beautiful letter, nice letter formatting. What's the problem? Then we get to the last paragraph, which describes the scenic drive we took. Uh oh. Why do I just know what's coming. He goes on to describe how someone had defaced the street sign for Flicker Street by joining the "l" and the "i". And he actually wrote the sentence just like this: "...and so it said FUCKER Street". In all caps, just like that. *rubbing eyes disbelievingly and shaking head* WHAT?!?!?! Oh no. But it doesn't end there... "My dad was so pissed off about that!"

Can I just shoot myself now so I can avoid ever facing this woman again? This would be the same principal from hell that I so beautifully beat to a bloody pulp with my ever so carefully chosen words just 1 week earlier when she had no clue who my older son was upon his return from the orthopedist. "Now, we know that we don't use crutches like a machine gun, right? And we don't let our friends use our crutches, right?" Hello!!! Condescending bitch. The kid has been on crutches for bloody 6 weeks already! Has there been a problem, I ask? Oh no, says she. Then do you mind me asking why you are treating the president of the student council, a straight A student, who has been on the principal's list every single reporting period for his entire career at your school, for whom you just wrote a recommendation to the World Leadership Conference, like a freaking 1st grader????? Sheesh!!! But I digress. Back to problem child number 1.

Guess how Steve spent his entire Memorial day weekend? Writing letters of apology to both his teacher and his principal. And rewriting until both his dad the teacher and his mom the pissed off PMSing meanie were satisfied with the results. And, of course, he's grounded.

So yesterday, we come home from work and his homework is all done. It's put away in his backpack, his agenda is out ready for a signature, his lunchbox is on the counter, right where it's supposed to be (wow - he remembered to bring it home - amazing!), and, there is a note taped to our bedroom door with a beautifully drawn picture of me and the DH, caption reading "Room of the BEST parents in the whole wide world". Sigh. How can you stay mad at that? And the amazing thing is, he really means it. He's not just kissing butt. He does stuff like this all the time. He's just a really sweet kid. And why couldn't that have been the word he used in all caps in his letter?

How about you all? What is the most mortifying thing your kids ever did at school or in front of another adult?