A Really Shitty Day

Today was a really shitty day. Three weeks ago my sister asked me if I wanted a dining room table of my grandma's that she was going to use but then she decided to buy something new instead so she wanted to get rid of it. Being as I didn't have room, I asked my best friend Cindy if she or anyone in her family could use it and her brother said he could use it. I thought... cool! Well, not so cool. I introduced my sister to my best friend's family and that was very, VERY bad. Let me tell you why...

Cindy's Mom contacted my sister twice and didn't get a return phone call. I told Cindy that's my sister, always thinking of just herself and no one else and if she didn't respond in a week, I'd contact her. Well I emailed my sister and told her about Cindy's parents wondering what was going on and she said that she would call them. No phone call for another four days. I, again, contact her and give her the contact information once again.. she says she'll have her husband call. No phone call. Now, it's three weeks later, still no phone call.

Well, at this point Cindy's parents are wondering what the hell is going on and I don't blame them. I try to explain that this is just my sister's way, she's selfish and will only get back to them when she's good and ready, but I guess unless you experience it yourself you just don't know how bad it can be. *sigh*

So, Cindy asks for my sister's email. Emails her a nice email asking what's going on and stuff... she did state that it was common courtesy to call someone back and let them know what is going on, which is the truth. Even if you aren't going to be able to get around to the table until a later date, let the person know that and tell them you'll call them then, ya know?

Cindy's email to my sister...

Hello,
I realize you have been busy lately and will be out tomorrow and probably the rest of the week now for a medical situation but my mom called me las tnight stating nobody has called her back regarding the table. I guess if you could at least call my mom and state you did receive her phone calls that would be very nice. I certainly don't want to cause any problems but I guess if someone calls me and leaves me two messages it is just common courtesy to return their phone calls. I mean my mom has done no harm. When Anne expressed you were giving your table and chairs away I immediately told my parents because I knew my brother would want it and so now it has been three weeks and my mom doesn't want to keep bugging you she said but she doesn't understand why nobody has called her back. I hope you understand. I do hope everything goes well for you tomorrow and you have a speedy recovery. Have a nice day.

Well, here's my sister's response (my comments in purple)

I had thought that Anne was the relay person stating how busy we hve been and have not been able to deliver this table and chair set that we are giving to you for free and delivering for free. (Notice the use of the word "free" excessively.. funny that she does that because she got it for free too)

I never called back because I had told Anne we were not ready. I guess that was my mistake since I thought that you would be able to get the message and deliver it to your mom. (She never said that. Not once. She just said they were busy, which wasn't completely true... no one is THAT busy for three weeks straight.. and too busy for a five minute phone call? I don't think so.)

I am a very courteous person, just because I have not called someone back when they are getting something for free doesn't mean I am not. (Snort! Does she sound courteous to you? Um, no she's not, and yes it does. Free or not, they deserved at least a phone call stating that she was unavailable and would call back when she was available.)

I really don't appreciate this email, and that my sister gave you my work email address. (Well, she was called and emailed multiple times by multiple different people.. this was the last possible means of communication, and obviously one which she responded to... although in a negative manner. *wry grin)

If there was enough of a problem, I would feel that you could have called Anne and she could have talked with me about this. (Again, been there, done that... didn't work.)

If you need this free table and chair set, please feel free to stop over at my house this weekend for we will not deliver it anymore. I will make sure my husband puts it in the garage for you to be able to pick it up. Just make sure someone calls ahead of time to let me know because my husband will need to open the garage for you. (Notice the use of free again? *eyeroll* Whatever.)

My response:
Well, Shelly, I did relay the message but not hearing from you they were just wondering about what was going on. I, in their place, would also be wondering. Yeah, you are busy, I got that, but not every day of the week and they were more than willing to pick up the table and chairs, which I did tell you. Cindy was not in the wrong emailing you to ask you what was going on since their phone calls went unanswered.
You're my sister, but damn it, you insulted my friend and her family by throwing the fact that the table and chairs were free in her face multiple times in the email and that pisses me off. Just because you are giving them something for free, doesn't mean that you can treat people like that and insult them.
You called me wanting to get rid of the table, I found a place for it... so I did my part. Your not calling them to make arrangements was no one's fault but yours. I'm sorry that this was such an inconvenience to you, but it was also for them, and me. You can keep the table, because anything free isn't worth this hassle. All this, and all because of a phone call that could and should have been made.

Cindy's response to my sister...
Hi,
I'm so sorry. My parents would have picked it up from the get-go and they even asked me "are you sure she doesn't want anything for it" so my parents are not in the habit of begging for free things. I told them that Anne said it was free. I'm so sorry it has come to this. I'm speechless. I'm not a confrontational person or a person who likes to fight so I apologize for upsetting you. I promise I won't contact you again. Thank you for your time and thanks for making me cry!

Sister's response to me, knowing I'd talk to Cindy...

Well, I will keep this table, you and your friend are not worth my trouble. The only reason I used free was not to insult them. And yes, I am very busy, every night. I have a kids that are much younger than you and are having a difficult time in school, so after I put in 9 hours of work, I sit with my kids and do homework until 10:00. Jeff is busy with work on the weekends and we have things going on also. I just wish I did make that one phone call and tell them that I did not have time to do this. My mistake intrusting you to deliver the messages. I should know better that if I need something done to do it myself.

Keep your sister shit to yourself. Don't worry about me, don't think about me, don't call me. It seems that we are better that way. We did it years ago, and I think I liked that better.

Cindy-Sorry I made you cry. I did not mean to insult you. I did not want anything for the table set from the get go. All because of a phone call that I did not make, I apologize

Have a wonderful day. I am sure I will.

Join the effing club! We all work 8 to 9 hour days and have to deal with our kids and their school work... suck it up!!!

So, here's only part of my response to my sister, the rest is best left between her and me...

What happened to you? What made you so bitter? You never used to be this way and I miss the old you. You think you're the only one with kids with problems? Well, think again. Mine may be older, but I've been where you are and now I'm here which ain't pretty either. Life sucks, but you make the best of it and move on.

I've had enough of her shit... she's a totally selfish person who treats everyone like crap and this was the final straw for me. I laid it all out there for her to see... everything I thought about her once and for all.. how she treats people, and just everything. I've had it. Everyone tip toes around her. Why? I just don't get it!! She's just another person and for her to go around thinking being a bitch to other people is acceptable is just WRONG. Once she even told me she thought being labeled a bitch was a good thing

So, I'm sure she'll go and tell my Mom who will probably agree with most of what I had to say but won't admit it to my sister. *sigh* Then I'll get the call from my Mom and blah, blah, blah. Well, f*%$ it. It needed to be said and if I'm the only one not afraid of her and has guts enough to say it, so be it.

Was I in the wrong here and out of line? Or, like me, do you think she was out of line yet again

Anne.. having a really shitty day