Monday, July 23, 2007

The man to die for’s dumbass move, or Why married men should never be allowed to do things for themselves

So we went to Pebble Beach for Bob's grandmother's 95th birthday. As the mom, we all know it's my responsibility to buy the cards for every birthday, anniversary, etc for any one that we want to be acknowledged with a card, right? I see you all nodding out there. OK. So I've bought the cards. And, I handed out said cards to various male people in my house to be signed. Steve signed his card. No problem.

Here's the dumbass move. First, a question. How long have Bob & I been signing joint cards? Give up? (Bob apparently didn’t know the answer either). 22 years. I'll spell it out for any dumbass husbands out there. Twenty-two years. It goes like this. When a card gets signed for his family, he does the writing. When it's for my family member, I do the writing. Either way, both our names get signed. This is not rocket science. It's worked this way for 22 years. Well, Grammy opens her cards, and there's one from Steve, and one from Bob. None from Lori. Huh? Dumbass husband didn't know he was supposed to sign my name because he saw me with 2 cards. He assumed the other one was from me.

Ever since Jeff was born, every grandparent or great-grandparent has gotten 2 cards – one from us, and one from the grandkids. I repeat – not rocket science. What makes this birthday any different? Oh, I know. I didn’t specifically tell him – "Sign it from both of us." Silly me. Dumbass husband.

P.S. I offer up my heartfelt thanks to That 70's Show and specifically to Red Forman for the fantastic introduction of dumbass into my vocabulary.

6 People Gabbed:

Holly said...

Aww, how sweet. Bob gets the "dumbass husband" award for the day.

If it makes you feel any better, I had to buy myself a birthday card this year and sign it from MM. How's that for dumbass?

Or even better, how about the fact that he didn't tell anyone in his family it was my birthday. His sister and BIL were staying at our house and they invited me to dinner (I paid for my own). When we got back to the house there was a message on the machine from my brother, wishing me a happy bday. Said sister and BIL say, "oh, it's your bday? I had no idea."

Four days later I got cards in the mail from MM's mom and grandparents. Wanna bet who told them it was my bday? Yeah, I'm thinking not MM.


Rosie said...

I've been married 27 years, and we still have discussions about cards.

"Should I sign both our names?

Why don't you sign it you are so much better at than I am.

Is this for my Dad or your Dad?"

Interesting about that last one since one birthday is in February and one in June, isn't it?

Yet I haven't smothered him in his sleep yet. Love him, I really do, although there are times...

Sarah McCarty said...

After 15 years my hubby still holds out hope that I will take over the cards for his side of the family. Not going to happen. I have a hard enough time remembering mine! I explained our system to his folks andthat if they don't get a card, look to their son.

Amazingly enough, with all that I still feel guilty when HE doesn't send one.

Lucy said...

I totally us "Dumbass" way too much! That 70s Show made me do it...

Lori said...

Holly, train MM now as you mean him to go on. Little story. Our first year together, pre-sex, first bloom of love, Bob gave me opal earrings for my 19th birthday. Second year together, we're more comfortable, yada yada yada, I get Garfield slippers. Cute, but no opal earrings. I'd have been cool with them, except for the explanation. "I don't have to impress you anymore." Oh, hell no.

At least you know his family loves you :)

I swear, men...

Erin the Innocent said...

I think you need to make some sort of statuette that represents the dumbass award *g*