Lets Gab... With Anne, Jennifer B., Lori, Lori T, and Kate

Later days, folks... we're saying bye for now

2009-08-28T10:25:00.002-05:00

Hey all,

We want to let you know that Let's Gab will be taking a break. We're all fine, but with everything going on in our lives, it seems like the appropriate time for us to take a break from something, and Let's Gab is it.

Anne is busy working on polishing up several manuscripts, and Kate is busy working on her first manuscript and taking care of the cutest baby in the world.

Having said all that, you'll still see JenniferB and Lori over at I Just Finished Reading... and we'll tweak the format there a little. You'll likely see some non-review-type posts over there going forward, but we'll keep most of the focus on books.

And, as always, Lori will continue posting about her family's escapades at Living in the House of Testosterone.

Thanks - it's been a blast!

Library Loot

2009-08-17T17:07:00.007-05:00

I saw this over at Christine's, and thought this would be great! It's awesome when you can check stuff out from the library (waving at Wendy!). Unfortunately, my library stinks. Even my county library. All these were requested through California ILL with the exception of Outlander. I still have a bunch on request. Hopefully the new Karen Rose will come SOON.

LIBRARY LOOT is a weekly blog event co-hosted by Marg of Reading Adventures and Eva of A Striped Armchair. Library Loot encourages readers to share what they've checked out from the library that week. If you want to participate, simply make your Library Loot post on your blog any day of the week and leave the link to your post through the Mr. Linky link at either Marg's or Eva's blogs.

Hot Pursuit. Yup. My lib didn't have it. Had to request it. Go figure.

Malice. I'm a Lisa Jackson ho. But I still won't buy hardcover. BTW, she has 2 releases out right now. The other one is Chosen to Die, the followup to Left to Die. I did buy that and have already read it. Boy, do I love me some Lisa Jackson.

Outlander.

I may be one of the few people in the world who hasn't read this yet. So I figured, why not?

The Book Gods are Smiling Down on Me

2009-08-16T16:33:00.011-05:00

I feel so fortunate. In the past couple weeks, I've won several books. So a big thank you to all, and I may be spreading the love soon :)

Pitch Black from Leslie Parrish (on Twitter)

First Come Twins from Helen Brenna on Riding With the Top Down

Daring Time by Beth Kery from Leah Braemel

and just today...

Surrender of a Siren by Tessa Dare on the Plotmonkeys!

Woohoo!! I loved the first book, Goddess of the Hunt, and cannot wait to read the second one.

Thank you to all these wonderful women, who not only write fantastic books, but also hold all these wonderful contests! You make it so easy for us book-buying fiends to stay devoted, and willing to always go out there to pimp this one and to buy the next one.

Because I just can't help myself

2009-08-14T20:39:00.008-05:00

You know if there's a hotbutton issue in blogland, I keep my mouth shut. If there's a hotbutton issue affecting our country? I just can't help myself.

Yes, I'm going there. Health Care Reform. I'm sorry people. Obama campaigned on it. We elected him in a landslide on it. He made no secret about his intentions. And now, all of a sudden, everyone acts so freakin' surprised that he wants to enact universal health care coverage? Which simply means that every single freakin' American would have the benefit of health care insurance.

Instead of opposing political parties and insurance lobbies gathering their cronies to create havoc and sound bites, I'd personally love to hear what this plan entails. That way I could make an intelligent and informed decision as to my opinion. I know that in the last 2 years, our deductible has tripled, both individual and family. I know that we're fortunate to still have insurance. But I also know that it's the main sticking point every year in the union negotiations between the teacher's union and the school district. I'm interested. Unfortunately, every evening, I'm forced to endure watching the bad news, and seeing, once again, how Americans can make themselves look like asses in front of the rest of the world.

For all those people who are so concerned that universal health care coverage will mean rationing of health care, and insurance company big-wigs deciding who will live and who will die, and not being able to pick your doctor, and granny not being allowed to get her medicine or not getting her surgery, or dad getting kicked out of the hospital before he's well... I have news for you. We already have that health care system. It's called the HMO.

Would all the people who are raising a riot on the news every night deny HMO coverage to all the people in our country who currently have nothing? Just perhaps, we could shut our mouths and open our ears and listen for a change. Listen to the proposals and use our brains and then decide for ourselves. Clinton was unable to do it. Bush had no interest in it. I'd really like to see Obama make some real progress. I don't believe that moving toward a government run health care system is necessarily bad. Most other countries in the world manage it. I don't necesarily believe that it will bring the level of care in our country down, or that all the amazing research that goes on here will suddenly stop, or that all our innovative physicians will suddenly disappear.

I'd like to believe that as Americans, we can do something better. Smarter. But people, we have to shut up and listen first. Having the right to our own free speech does not deprive our neighbors of their right to free speech. Sometimes I think that the Bill of Rights should have included the Right to Listen. Lord knows we'd get a whole lot more accomplished. Including a Health Care bill.

Happy Birthday, Kate!!

2009-08-11T14:42:00.002-05:00

Hope your day is the very best ever!

Book Giveaway

2009-08-11T00:34:00.007-05:00

Because I think this is such an amazing book, and it's one that is totally outside our usual genre, I'm giving away a copy of Rage Against the Meshugenah. I reviewed it on I Just Finished Reading earlier in the week.

For anyone who is affected by clinical depression either personally, or secondhand, or even thirdhand, I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s a masterful first-person insight into how the male mind thinks, feels, and works. It’s entertaining and witty. Sad and heartrending as well. You don't have to have any experience with depression in order to enjoy this book. Danny Evans is a terrific author, and this book first and foremost entertains. I encourage you to read the review, and read the book. Spread your reading wings.

Simply leave a comment on this post, or on the review itself between now and next Monday, August 17 at 11:59 pm PST.

Please note that this is only open to US and Canada. Sorry.

You're killing me here, Samhain...

2009-08-04T10:25:00.007-05:00

Really, why do they have to keep putting out books that sound so damn good? I spend way too much money there. Every damn week.

Boys of Summer by Cooper Davis
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Gay-Lesbian Romance
ISBN: 978-1-60504-637-2
Length: Novella
Price: 3.50 Get it Now for 3.15
Cover art by Natalie Winters

I thought I knew what love was...

My name is Hunter Willis and I've found love. The problem? I'm not sure I'm ready for the rest of the world to know I've fallen for my best friend. Everyone knows Max is gay. Me? They think I'm straight as an arrow. So did I, until Max and I shared a kiss three months ago that blew that theory right out of the water.

Now, by the ocean in Florida, thousands of miles away from prying eyes, I'm finally ready to admit to myself that Max and I have something special. Max has been ready for a long timeand he's been waiting for me. Really waiting. As in...he's still a virgin.

There's nothing I want more than to be Max's first lover. But I know when Max gives away that part of himself, it won't be just a summer fling. It'll be for keeps. Max deserves the best. I'm just not sure, when it comes right down to it, that I won't break his heart.

Did I mention I'm scared as hell?

Warning: This title features summer lovin' between two hot men, a secret romance between best friends--one of whom doesn't think he's actually gay, and enough heat to set any beach vacation on fire. Be sure to keep the extinguisher handy!

Bridging the Gap by Annmarie McKenna
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Red Hots!
ISBN: 978-1-60504-251-0
Length: Novella
Price: 3.50 Get it Now for 3.15
Cover art by Angela Waters

The higher she climbs, the harder he falls...

Carter Malone is usually the first one to make tracks before a woman starts getting any ideas. Permanent relationships don't fit into his personal blueprint. Now, for the first time in his life, he's burning up the sheets with a woman who makes him think about something more permanent...like spending the night. But she's holding something back, something he can't quite pin down.

As a woman in a man's world, Ryan Cooper is used to wearing a target on her back--and hiding her vulnerabilities. She hasn't let anything, not even the ever-present threat of an epileptic seizure, stop her from working her butt off to get the foreman's job with her stepfather's construction company. Then she discovers the guy she's been dating--okay, having the hottest sex of her life with--is the architect who designed the building she'll be overseeing. The last thing she needs is anyone thinking she slept with Carter to get the job.

Or worse, feeling sorry for her.

Before the dust clears, things get a lot more complicated. The previous foreman's injury was no accident, and whoever caused it is taking aim--at the target on Ryan's back.

Warning: This book contains almost fully clothed sex with a little bit o' spanking on an OCD-clean desk inside a construction trailer, a rogue set of pencils that just won't take stay for an answer, and sweet loving in a tub.

Love Me Knots by Dee Tenorio
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Red Hots!
ISBN: 978-1-60504-666-2
Length: Category
Price: 4.50 Get it Now for 4.05
Cover art by Scott Carpenter

Nothing twists you up quite like love...

When she interrupts what looks like a tryst in her fiancé's office, former heiress Krista James has only one thought: "It's over!" True, they both signed a marriage contract that didn't include a love clause. But she'll be damned if she gives the two-timer the satisfaction of knowing she gave up her heart along with her hand.

How to say goodbye to a man who makes her forget her own name in bed, and all her principles everywhere else? Simple. Run.

CPA-on-the-rise David Ellison thinks everything is perfect. Perfectly planned, perfectly ordered, perfectly moving forward. Until he arrives late--again--for a lunch date. Suddenly he has a broken engagement, a guilty receptionist and a missing fiancée.

Tracking her down is easy. She's traded their honeymoon tickets for a luxury holiday for one. Reasoning with her? Impossible. Especially since they always seem to end up in bed, in the shower, on the floor...everywhere but at an understanding.

David didn't follow his woman all the way to Tahiti to return home empty-handed. To get her back, he's even prepared to empty his heart of all his secrets.

Question is...is he prepared for hers?

Warning: Emotionally repressed, sexually gifted accountant on the loose in Tahiti, intent on seducing his lady back into his life and completely redefining the phrase "awesome lei". Mai Tais and fresh ice recommended to counter the extreme sexual heat.

Harley Street by Lynne Connolly
Genre: Historical Romance
ISBN: 978-1-60504-642-6
Length: Novel
Price: 5.50
Cover art by Natalie Winters

Mystery, murder, and an old menace. It's enough to damage the strongest love.

Richard and Rose, Book 4

Lord and Lady Strang return from their adventure-filled honeymoon, more than ready to settle into married life. After a few weeks living in his parents' Piccadilly mansion, Richard and Rose are restless for their own home, a space where they can work out the pattern of their new life together.

House-hunting will have to wait. A maid in the household of Rose's aunt has been murdered, an act that forces Richard to reveal a dark secret from his past. Despite the desperate passion they share, marriage requires disclosure--something at which Richard has never excelled.

In light of his revelation, Rose must find the strength to delve deep into the bedrock of their relationship while simultaneously facing the height of London society. As they work to unravel the clues that lead to a murderer, an old enemy launches an attack on their already fragile hearts...

This book was previously published.

Warning: This series is addictive. Danger, excitement and hot, hot sex might give you ideas. But you'll have to find your own man.

What are you reading?

Cooler Contest

2009-08-03T17:57:00.001-05:00

What a night...

2009-08-02T19:00:00.004-05:00

Apologies for the long, boring story that follows, but I've had a lot of email and a lot of concerned friends. Thank you so much - your concern for me touches me and makes me feel very loved. I'm fortunate to have such good friends! So I thought I'd just do a post here to let you all know I'm not about to die.

If you've been following my saga at all either here or over at Facebook, you know that I've had a migraine for a solid week. Bad. It started to get a little better mid-week, then worse toward the end of the week. Yesterday, it was so bad that I seriously considered I was going to have a stroke, or had an aneurysm, or some other terrible diagnosis. I take medication twice a day prophylactically, as well as having meds on hand for acute flareups. Nothing was helping, and the amount of Advil I was taking on top of it all was going to tear my stomach to shreds.

So about 5 pm, Bob decided enough was enough, and off to the ER we went.

Well, the first thing that happened was, it was Saturday evening in the ER. Not the quietest place to be. In the waiting room was a spanish-speaking family there with about 20 members of their immediate and extended family. Including every whiny, obnoxious child they could drum up. Thankfully, I was seen fairly quickly. Only to be placed on a gurney in the hallway - they were full. Normally, I can roll with the punches, and I wouldn't care. But with a migraine from hell, every single noise and light was amplified. All the crying, screaming, and the radio transmissions (and there were a lot last night considering my sleepy little town) seemed to make everything worse. So much so that I started crying (no help for the headache at all!) and asked Bob to take me home and let me have my stroke in peace, LOL. Drama queen much?

I got a nice young fresh-faced doctor who immediately gave me morphine (which I absolutely HATE!) along with an anti-nausea medication. It didn't touch the pain, but did give me loads of nausea along with a pretty decent buzz. I floated along above my body noting that the poor girl there had a really awful headache. That buzz lasted about an hour, at which point she gave me dilaudid - even stronger than morphine. And a sublibgual anti-nausea med. Both of which served to make me even more woozy, and more nauseous. But didn't touch my headache.

I finally realized that Bob keeps earplugs in the car, so asked him to go get them. While he was gone, some guy started freaking out. I didn't open my eyes, but heard a lot of "f" words and mother"f" words. Needless to say, they didn't allow Bob back into the patient area for a good long time. But I finally got my earplugs which helped a little.

FINALLY, around midnight, enough folks either got sent home or admitted that I got moved into a real room, where they could close the door and turn off the lights. But the damn nurse kept lowering the head of the bed to make me more comfortable, when all it did was make me puke. Duh - get a clue. I kept asking her to leave it up, too. Oy!

Anyway, finally the doctor says she's run out of narcotics to try - to which I say good! I didn't want them in the first place - I had told her I don't react well to them. So she decides to give me some heavy duty steroids. Now, as an asthmatic and a former respiratory therapist, me likey the steroids. Great, I say. In goes the IV, and along with the steroids goes some Reglan, another heavy-duty anti-nausea med. Finally, a little relief. I once again say to the doctor that it's so unusual for me to have a migraine of this length and maybe something else is going on? So she shuffles her feet and says... in a big Aha! moment... I'm going to order a CT scan! Great, now we're getting somewhere. And the headache is finally starting to get a little better with the steroids on board.

30 minutes after the CT, mystery solved. I had a migraine on top of a massive sinus infection, and they were feeding off one another. So I couldn't get rid of the migraine because I have a sinus infection feeding it. But I don't have any of my usual sinus infection symptoms, which was really weird. So anyway, after getting home at 3AM, (and how happy am I that we can leave the kids home), I am now on antibiotics.

And she still forced a narcotic prescription on me in case I had some more severe pain over the next couple days. LOL. I didn't fill that one. Sure, narcotics have their place - after major surgery, or for people with a low pain tolerance, or for those with debilitating illness. But I don't care for the way they make me feel. No thank you.

Anyway, end of story, and g-d willing, end of headache. Hopefully between the drugs and the glasses, I'll be as good as new in a week or so. Thank you again for your thoughts and emails over the last week. You are awesome!

Happy birthday to the Man to Die For!

2009-07-31T11:36:00.000-05:00

Just want to wish the Man to Die For a fantastic birthday. Sure, he's saddled with an old, bifocal wearing, wrinkly woman for a wife, but he's still waaaay older than me. By a good 9 1/2 weeks (hey, no WONDER we love that movie so much!).

So, happy birthday, my sweet.

When did she get to be so old???

2009-07-30T21:11:00.007-05:00

Ho-lee crap! I've been suffering from a migraine since Saturday, so have been absent from bloglandia for the most part. I decided it was high time I checked in with my ophthalmologist. It's been a couple years since I had my eyes examined, and I noticed that my eyes have deteriorated in the last year or so. Both distance and *gasp* closeup.

History lesson: In 2000, I had Lasik surgery. Twice. Because my vision and astigmatism were both so bad, I needed two surgeries to correct it. I'd worn glasses since I was 7, contacts since 11. My vision was so bad that Bob and his roommate in the dorms used to take my glasses and I'd yell "Where are my glasses, damn it?!" And they'd be right there on his face. Assholes.

Anyway, bottom line is, when I got Lasik surgery, and woke up the next morning and could see the clock, it was like a miracle. The Heavens opened up and I saw the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Heavenly harp-like music played. Seriously. Un. Be. Lievable.

So it's been almost 10 years. They told me my eyes might deteriorate, but they'd deteriorate from 20/20. Fair enough. I got 10 years out of my surgery. Given how expensive my glasses and contacts were, plus the boost to my self-esteem, the 2 surgeries more than paid for themselves. They also told me that when I turned 40, I'd need to go out and buy reading glasses. I've cheated them out of 3 years. Woohoo! What I didn't expect was that after 10 years, both the deterioration in my distance vision and my close-up vision would hit at once, and I'd be looking at... bifocals. *cue horror movie music*

Ho-lee CRAP! That is serious old age territory. My grandparents wore bifocals. Hell, my mother wears bifocals. Damn it - I'm too young for this!!!

Thank heavens that they now have progressive lenses. I don't have to have that horrid line in my glasses that screams out to everyone... OLD LADY GLASSES!!

All I can say is, this damn well better help with the headaches.

So... what's new with you?

Looking for recs...

2009-07-21T18:39:00.003-05:00

As you can see from the sidebar, my TBR pile is currently non-existent.

I need recommendations of books you loved. I'm looking mostly for contemporary, as that's the genre I'm currently writing so I'd like to stay in that frame of mind. But if there's something you're just dying to talk about outside of contemporary, I'm open. :-)

So gush away!

The Death of a TRUE Legend

2009-07-17T23:49:00.014-05:00

When Michael Jackson passed away early this month, many hailed it as the death of a legend. I wrote a post questioning this status. And many people, I know, were angry at those of us who had the audacity to question the label of "legend" for a 50 year old who spent the last 15 years of his life battling drug addiction, and an image (true or not) as a pedophile and a "freak." While nobody doubts his contributions to the music scene, both in the early days of Motown with The Jackson 5, and in the early 80s, with Thriller, I believe the attention given to his death (and memorial service) was, frankly, obscene. We don't give this kind of attention to presidents when they die. Reagan certainly didn't receive this kind of attention, day in and day out. And he was a real legend.

Nor will the man who passed away today, Walter Cronkite, receive that kind of attention (nor might I add, would he likely want it). Dubbed the "Most Trusted Man in America," he was the man that the country turned to when Kennedy was assassinated, when we landed on the moon, when we went to war in Vietnam, when the Nuremburg Trials started, when the hostages were taken in Iran. When we needed news, reassurance, or just a familiar face to deliver the news, he was there. What man today could end a president's career simply by giving his opinion of a war? When Cronkite said that we were mired in a stalemate in Vietnam, Johnson knew that he couldn't win the war, and announced that he wouldn't run for re-election. Because if he'd lost Cronkite, he'd lost middle America.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I grew up in the late 60s, and all through the 70s watching the CBS nightly news with Walter Cronkite with my parents every night. As did almost every other household in America who owned a TV and watched a TV. He was a TRUE legend, and will be missed. And that's the way it is.

The Not-at-RWA post

2009-07-15T17:05:00.004-05:00

Do you feel the absence of all those who are currently in Washington, DC at the RWA National Conference? I certainly do! I got my Google Reader down to zero today. ZERO. It's unheard of. There are the die-hards who are still posting and tweeting from the conference (thanks for all the updates!!), there's a noticeable lack of posts. And although I'm still undecided in my decision to join RWA (feedback, positive or negative, still appreciated), I would still have loved to attend some workshops, chill with some authors, and possibly chat up some agents and editors. I hope everyone there is having a great time! :-)

I did hear that Romance Divas is having a giant bash for those who weren't able to go, so head on over there if you're lonely at home like me!

Ugh

2009-07-15T02:01:00.002-05:00

No need to post sympathy or anything, but just thought I'd say...

shittiest day ever.

And then it was so shitty, I forgot to call and wish my sister a happy birthday, which means I'm in the doghouse tomorrow, too. Ugh. Making tomorrow...

the second shittiest day ever.

Left at home... probably wise

2009-07-14T00:18:00.005-05:00

Nothin' too exciting here. Feeling blue that I didn't get to go to RWA this year. Hoping that Wendy, Rosie, Kristie, Jill, and Barbara (the last two I haven't met yet, Boohoo!) are having a great time.

In the meantime, I have transferred all my ebooks to my new laptop. Yay! And just to make sure that my new Microsoft Reader worked, I bought The Surgeon's Lady at eHarlequin.com. And then to make sure I could download the books and hook up my ebookwise properly, I went and bought Love is in the Heir at ebookwise.com for $1.79! These things are very important, you know, LMAO!! All in the name of testing, you see.

Then I transferred over half my pictures, but my memory card got full. Then Jeff decided it was time to do some of his gazillion summer assignments, so the rest of the pictures and my music will have to wait until tomorrow. Have I told you all about Jeff's summer assignments? Yikes. I'll have to post about that, but it'll probably be over at LITHOT.

My really old brain is having a meltdown. I got a surprise in the mail today. A copy of Relentless from the fabulous Lauren Dane!! Yay me! Problem is, I can't remember if I won a contest, or if Lauren was just being her wonderful self and sent it to me. I think I won a contest somewhere, but for the life of me, I can't remember where! Anyone? If I won your contest, let me know. LOL!

Oh, and last but not least, this last weekend, I met Tracy and Nikki for lunch and book shopping. We started at Borders, where we all bought books and Nikki bought the cutest bags for her and her daughter. Then we had a great lunch at CPK, then traipsed on over to a little UBS in the neighborhood, where I spent $15 and got about 6 books. I don't recall what I got, but hopefully, you'll see some reviews up for some of them. But honest, they were good! Heh.

Then, of course, I went and spent a small fortune on my new laptop! Yay me! Which I'm sitting on the couch and typing this post on. Woot!

That's all I've got going on. What's new with you?

Woohoo!! Finally got a new baby :)

2009-07-12T19:53:00.003-05:00

After tons of research, I got a new baby last night!

And, y'all, look how clean my desktop is. LOL.

Goin' to the chapel...

2009-07-10T21:47:00.003-05:00

We're going to a wedding next weekend, and here's what we were told to wear. Uh, yeah, right.

While this is not a theme wedding, and costumes are not required, we would LOVE to see our fellow artists and creative family members embrace the steampunk style to help set the tone for this event. Let your children (and your inner children) go crazy! Steampunk is the combination of the best of Victorian England with technological advances that didn't actually take place until 100 years later. While it began as a literary movement, it has now expanded to included art, design and style. For more info visit these links:

http://www.edwardianball.com/previously.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/steampunk

http://kineticsteamworks.org

You can also google image "steampunk costume" for clothing ideas. Think brass goggle wearing hackers, apocalyptic scavenger style of "Mad Max", vaudeville and burlesque in the structured gentility in the Victorian age...

First off, as soon as I saw "costumes" I was thinking "WTF?" JUST what I want to wear to a wedding. Even Jeff rolled his eyes and sounded grateful he had football practice and had to stay home for the weekend. At least Bob & I will get a nice weekend away together out of it. Here's where we're staying.

Save the School of Gallantry

2009-07-08T21:20:00.007-05:00

Found this on Heather's site, RT'd by many on Twitter. Good luck, Delilah. I really hope this works!

My Dearest Readers,

When I was in high school, I had a dream. I was going to be the next Stephen King. Heh. Yeah. Stay with me. Please. I knew my ideas were fabulous and I knew all it would take is for an editor to look at it and they would offer me up the moon and the stars and best of all, a contract. I had my girlfriends read everything I wrote. And they kept telling me, “This is fabulous! It's SO funny! Hilarious!” Seeing it really wasn't supposed to BE funny, I immediately changed course realizing I actually had a better handle on being funny than scary. I also figured adding a romance into it would even make it better since that is what I loved to read.

I then entered college as an English major. I was going to be teacher and write during the summers. Even then I was a smart girl who knew I wasn't going to make jack and that I needed a job to support the “creative” one. Throughout all of college I wrote historical romances. One right after another. And kept submitting. And submitting. And submitting. And kept getting rejected and rejected and rejected. In the meantime, I got married. I had two kids. I joined RWA. I got critique partners. I did honed and honed and honed the crap out of my writing. And kept writing and getting rejected. I eventually racked up over 200 rejections and had written over 40 books in those 11 years of trying to get published.

When I finally sold my first historical romance, MISTRESS OF PLEASURE, and my second book, LORD OF PLEASURE, I was beside myself. It didn't feel real. To FINALLY arrive at a destination I had been traveling toward for 11 long years seemed like a mirage. Which fortunately, I quickly snapped out of. Because after all, most of my friends are all published and unpublished writers and the stories they all have told me throughout the years made me realize I had to fight with fists up for myself every step of the way. I knew publishers did little to no promotion for their authors, so I spearheaded my own promo, ready to be more than just an author. And even though I was budgeting very well and spending countless hours networking and promoting on websites and blogs, doing tons for free, I still ended up spending $7,000 on my first book. Which was way more than my advance. But hey, every business starts in the red. Right?

Then the reviews started coming in about my series set in 1830 London England about a school that educates men on the topic of love and seduction. People loved it! Wow. It got nominated for awards. Wow. Readers are e-mailing me raving. Wow. Readers from France, Austria, Poland, South Africa and from all over the U.S and the world. Wow. It just kept getting better and better. I was beginning to feel as if every penny I spent was all worth it (even though my family and I weren't going on any vacations and were eating out of cans). Because all that mattered was that my publisher loved me and my readers loved my series.

Come contract time, I'm ready for whatever they wanna throw at me. Or so I thought. Mistress of Pleasure, though completely sold out and unavailable anywhere (unless it's a used copy, some going for a ridiculous amount of $40.00), hadn't done as well as my publisher had hoped. So without waiting for the second book to come out to see if the series was even worth saving, I get a rejection from my own editor citing lack of sales.

I have to say this rejection felt more personal than any of the other two hundred and some rejections I'd received. Because it was no longer “Your book isn't good enough” it became “Your sales aren't good enough.” Since when is an author supposed to be a market guru AND a fabulous writer? Eck.

I love this series. The men in it make me laugh and it broke my heart to think that my readers will never get a chance to read about Lord Brayton, my glorious male virgin. The only alpha virgin I ever plan to write about. Then I realized something, why I am letting a publisher decide what is worth holding on to? Shouldn't that be a reader's job?

Ah. Herein lies the purpose of my post. I am challenging everyone, be they readers or writers to help me do something that's never been done before. Save a series from a death sentence given by a publisher. Can it be done? Who knows. But I eat challenges for breakfast and I hope you do to. Please join me in saving my series. Come August 4th, tell everyone you know (yes, even you're 72 year old grandfather) to buy the book, Lord of Pleasure. In doing so, you'll have a chance to win one of three $50 Visa Gift Cards. How? Check out my website for details at http://www.delilahmarvelle.com/

That said, thank you for all the support and love everyone has already shown me. Feel free to post and repost this to everyone under the moon and the stars. To all you readers out there, thank you for supporting us writers. To all you writers out there, don't ever give up on your writing. The moment you do, you give up on yourself. Which is why I'm not giving up on my series.

Cheers and much love,
Delilah Marvelle

I heart Wendy

2009-07-02T13:46:00.003-05:00

Seriously. As an historicals ho, I always want to know what I need to get next. Often, I just go to my Borders and buy whatever's on the table or on the shelves that looks interesting. Often, I'll scroll through the reviews I've starred or "bookwatch" posts in my GReader. But if I want the real lowdown on what historicals are coming out? I go here. It's like chocolate for PMS. Water in the desert. Margaritas after a long day at work.

Seriously. I heart Wendy.

How do you find the books you want to get?

Random Thoughts on books, blogging, etc...

2009-07-01T20:10:00.009-05:00

Don't put restrictions on the books you want on PBS that make me think the book has to be perfect. If you want a perfect book, go buy it. I know you just want to go resell my book elsewhere.

If your book makes me feel crappy about myself, I'm not going to put it down and remember it fondly. No matter how well written it is.

Lately, I've been far more critical of books than I ever have been in the past. Wonder why that is?

Not everyone in blogland has a PhD. Don't be snooty to those who only have 2 degrees. (or 1, or none)

A good romantic comedy goes a long way. As does a good Baileys. Put the two together, and it's even better. (Thanking Jill Shalvis right about now)

Twitter is very, very bad. I got far less work done this week than I should have.

Google Chrome's Incognito Window rocks. See random thought above.

I really hate cliques. They're so high school. At work or at play.

If all I can think to blog about is a bitch session, I really need a vacation. I'm glad it's a 3-day weekend coming up.

What are you all doing for the 4th?

Book Watch!

2009-06-30T08:12:00.005-05:00

Particularly exciting for me because Virtually His was one of only a handful of my WOW reads in 2007. I was floored, if memory serves.

So obviously, I cannot wait for this one:

VIRTUALLY HERS will be coming out as an ebook through Samhain on Oct. 6, 2009. It'll come out as a print book mid 2010.

Note: I was unable to find mention of this title yet at http://www.samhainpublishing.com/. Consequently, I'm not sure if this book cover is THE cover.

Need some audiobook recs

2009-06-29T18:04:00.002-05:00

I want to try an audiobook, but I'm not sure where/what to start with. Any recs?

What's good to listen to vs reading?

Leah's birthday bash - prizes, giveaways, fun galore...

2009-06-29T16:09:00.006-05:00

Leah Braemel is having a birthday bash all month. To celebrate, she's having authors and giveaways all month. Seriously. Here's the lowdown.

Leah Braemelgreat free widgetsWidgetbox

Bookwatch: Uncovered by Linda Winfree

2009-06-27T23:31:00.006-05:00

One of the fabulous things about e-books is that they are so easy to buy on release day. One of the few authors I "race" to buy in e-book on release day is Linda Winfree. I love her Hearts of the South series. Even though there's always one thing that gives me pause in each one, and Holly and I always compare notes about what bugged us, the books rock. Seriously.

The next one, Uncovered, is due out July 7. This is book 9 in the series (book 10 if you count the prequel, What Mattered Most - and you should definitely count it!)

Before she can build a future, she must dig up the bones of her past…

A Hearts of the South story.

After nearly twenty years, her career in possible ruins, homicide detective Madeline Holton returns to her hometown for a temporary stint working with the local sheriff’s department. The demons of her teen years lie in wait, rising once more in the form of a cold case she must solve. And when it comes to a handsome farmer who’s making good on her family’s former land, she can’t seem to keep her foot out of her mouth—or her hands off him.

Agricultural businessman Ash Hardison won’t lie to himself—despite Madeline’s obvious issues, he’s more drawn to her than any woman he’s ever known. He’s already laid the ghosts of his past to rest, and he’s determined to help Madeline purge hers. Whether she likes it or not.

Because he knows it’s the only way they have a chance to forge a future together.

Excerpt.

Can I just say? That is the most manly looking man I've seen on a book cover in a long time. I love his face. Not a boy, but a man. The 42 year old woman in me cries out for him, and I don't feel like I'm lusting after jailbait. Yum.

Madeline is Autry's sister and sister-in-law to sheriff Stanton Reed, the H/H from Anything but Mine (book 4). July 7 is almost here!

I'm a Twit!

2009-06-22T09:57:00.004-05:00

Well, I've joined Twitter, anyway. :-)

You can find me as edkates. And hubby taught me how to link my tweets to my facebook - look at me all tech savvy!

So who else uses Twitter?

It's all about Kristie II ;-)

2009-06-17T18:58:00.005-05:00

Holy crap, I'm posting again! The world must have ended...

But Kristie would like to see desktops, so here's my home one (since I'm off work until August). Note the lack of icons compared to Lori's, lol. I'm a TAD anal about clutter on my desktop. All that's there is the recycling bin, a Pics folder for when I move the pics from my camera (which are then transferred to the giant hard drive), and my Couch to 5k Workout Plan. That is there as a reminder to actually do it. Riiiight.
Yes, the pic is my beautiful boy who's kept me away for so long. Can you blame me? ;-)

It's all about Kristie... :)

2009-06-17T12:00:00.003-05:00

Cause KristieJ wants to know what we all have on our desktop...

I have to say... honestly? You all know how busy I am at work, right? That's my disclaimer, LOL. It's Jeff snowboarding behind all this junk.

Maybe I'll post the one from home. It's not quite this bad, but pretty close, cause it has all Bob's working recording files on it. The man simply doesn't understand the meaning of "losing the data".

My Beef

2009-06-17T10:04:00.003-05:00

Strange title, right? Ever have one of those PMS-y days where ALL the little things bother you? I'm going to start my list from JUST this morning. Feel free to chime in on what's annoying YOU today.

1. Landscapers who come at nap time. Every. Time.
2. Heroes from Elizabeth Lowell's old romances. Seriously. There's always this one thing they think they KNOW about the heroine and regardless of what the heroine says, they're CERTAIN they're right and they're assholes because of it. Yet I LOVE the books. Ugh.
3. Dear Author. Yes, they're pissing me off today. Because I now have 101 unread feeds from them in my Google Reader, because every time I read one post I get SUCKED in and have to read all the comments. DA, you are TOO popular. Stop being so cool and funny. I am never going to catch up!
4. My book. I threw my first MS out, did I tell you all that? 60,000 words down the drain because it was AWFUL. Now I have 5k of the new one. My issue? I'm an editor, and can't stop editing. I just can't turn the darn brain off while I'm writing, so it's going soooooooo slooowwwwwwwwllllllyyyyy. Sometime soon I'll tell you about it (think Harlequin Blaze type with a boss. Yum.).
5. PMS. WHY do women have to get this?

WELL, now that I've all cheered you all up, what would you like to complain about? I'm all ears. :-)

Junk About Kate

2009-06-17T08:59:00.003-05:00

I'm stealing this from Lori while I think about my newest post--yes, I am ACTUALLY going to post. Did you all miss me? :-) You can see where she stole it from below. (Also, is anyone else seeing the horrible bandwidth tile? *shudder*)

1. What thing is nearest to you? My coffee cup and baby monitor
2. What is your ringtone? So Close from the Enchanted Soundtrack
3. What was the last message in your inbox? A new review from Romance Junkies for one of my authors!
4. Who is your best friend? My hubby
5. What is the brand of your TV? Sylvania. It's old, to hubby's displeasure.
6. What schools did you attend? Nursery School (called pre-K now), Kindergarten, Elementary, Junior High, High School, College.
7. Do you own a MP4? Nope. Not yet.
8. What song are you listening to now? Promise Me by Lea Salonga. Anyone ever heard her voice? Pure and beautiful. (She was the singing voice of Jasmine in Aladdin. :-))
9. Did you kiss anybody in the past 2 days? Yes.
10. Have you ever kissed someone you met in the blogosphere? Nope.
11. What would you want to call yourself if you didn't have your current name? I like my name, but when I was younger I wanted to change to Rina, a different spin off Katherine.
12. Would you be happy if you had everything? I agree with Lori - I'd like the opportunity to find out.
13. Are you always thinking of someone special? While I love my few someone specials, there are actually times where I don't think of them. Sometimes, lol.
14. Tell us of your most desperate dream? Right now it's to become a published author. I'm working on it, I swear.
15. When did you last laugh till you cried? I haven't in a while. I think that's sad.
16. If you had a crush, would you tell them you love him/her now? I tell the hubster every day.
17. If you could be anywhere in the world now, where would you want to be? On a sunny beach, basking in the sun. ~I agree, Lori
18. When was your heart last broken? I can't remember. I think that's a good thing.
19. Whose birthday(s) is/are coming up? My baby turns one in July. WHERE did the time go?? And mine's in August.
20. How many email accounts do you have? Hmm, one personal, one for work, one for review/editing. And I had one for Yahoo group stuff, but since I don't do Yahoo groups really anymore, that's since become defunct.

Monday Reckoning

2009-06-17T00:59:00.002-05:00

I forgot to post this on Monday, and it's still Tuesday over here on the west coast, so technically I didn't biff this too badly, LOL.

I only lost .2 lbs this week, but it was the dreaded PMS week, so I'll take whatever I can!

Junk about me

2009-06-15T23:45:00.006-05:00

I took this from Barbara, who took it from JenB.

1. What thing is nearest to you? Empty Cold Stone ice cream cup (guilty blush) and an empty diet coke can. What does that say about me, LOL?.
2. What is your ringtone? Eruption by Van Halen
3. What was the last message in your inbox? It's from Nikki, confirming she'll be at the next SoCal Blogger get together. Woot!
4. Who is your best friend? Bob.
5. What is the brand of your TV? Samsung
6. What schools did you attend? Elementary, Junior High, High School, College, and postgrad for my RRT.
7. Do you own a MP4? Nope. Not yet.
8. What song are you listening to now? Lullaby, by none other than the hub. It's playing on Steve's iPod while he's in bed. Plus, Bob is writing a song in our room.
9. Did you kiss anybody in the past 2 days? Yes.
10. Have you ever kissed someone you met in the blogosphere? I'm not sure. Have I, guys?
11. What would you want to call yourself if you didn't have your current name? When I was a little girl, I wanted to be called Barbara. I had a friend named Barbara with long straight black hair. (I have very curly brown hair).
12. Would you be happy if you had everything? I'd like the opportunity to find out.
13. Are you always thinking of someone special? No time.
14. Tell us of your most desperate dream? I desperately want my children to be happy all the time.
15. When did you last laugh till you cried? Tonight at dinner.
16. If you had a crush, would you tell them you love him/her now? Just did.
17. If you could be anywhere in the world now, where would you want to be? On a sunny beach, basking in the sun.
18. When was your heart last broken? 5 years ago, when my dad passed away.
19. Whose birthday(s) is/are coming up? My nephew's (20th) and my hubby's.
20. How many email accounts do you have? Two that I use all the time for personal use, plus a work one, plus about 10 that I use for work for testing. Ugh, that sounds like a lot, doesn't it?

Belly tunes

2009-06-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

There is more than one moment that stands out from our weekend away (dirtbiking of course)...but this one is a laugher.

G. In the process of getting dressed. Sitting shirtless on the edge of the bed in our camper. He looks down at his bare belly, all bunched up because he is sitting there hunched over to pull shorts on. It captures his attention and he immediately stops what he is doing to start patting out a rhythm on his belly fat.

Wouldn't you just LOVE to have that kind of appreciation for your belly fat? I sure would.

How do I explain this kind of hatred to my children?

2009-06-10T19:22:00.006-05:00

Yesterday morning, a nazi-loving, white-supremacist went into the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC and started shooting, killing a security guard.

This man had a website spewing hatred and anti-Semitism that horrified me. According to his (self-written) bio, he is a WW2 vet, a member of Mensa (not sure if I believe that one), and blames his years of imprisonment on "a Negro jury, Jew/Negro attorneys, and sentenced to prison for eleven years by a Jew judge. A Jew/Negro/White Court of Appeals denied his appeal."

Well, good for that there Jew/Negro/White Court of Appeals.

How on earth do I explain to my kids that there are still people like this in the world? He claims:
"There was no JEW "HOLOCAUST." There was a German Holocaust."
I’m sure the rest of the European Jews and their families appreciate that. Truly.

"History shows us that JEWS are compulsive LIARS. It is a genetic characteristic that all JEWS share. All JEWS know the "HOLOCAUST" is a lie - because they understand one another. Therefore all JEWS must be held accountable."

As a Jew, and as a human being (but most importantly to me, as a Jew), attempting to teach my children about their heritage and where they fit into the world at large is important. Teaching them about history is important. WW2 and the Holocaust is a big part of the religious school curriculum as children get older. The kids visit the Simon Wiesenthal Center and the LA Museum of Tolerance as part of the 7th grade curriculum. Jeff has been to the DC Holocaust memorial. It’s a brutal place. But an important one. One that teaches us about intolerance, and cowardice, and bravery. One that teaches us that if we allow people like Von Brunn to go unchecked and allow him to spew his hatred unchecked, we could have another Holocaust on our hands at any time.

The fact that there are still a large number of people out there that deny the existence of the Holocaust and believe that Hitler was in the right are terrifying to me. The fact that my children know some of them is even more terrifying. How do I teach them to stand up for themselves and their heritage when they are at an age where the inclination is to "go with the flow"? Not make waves. Fit in.

It’s so hard to speak up for what’s right when you are in your teens. It’s what separates leaders from followers. But try explaining that to a kid who just wants to be popular. Who wants to have a group to go to the movies with on Saturday night. We live in a town where the Jewish population is next to zero. Where when I complained about the lack of Hanukkah wrapping paper one year at the local drug store, I was told, "We don’t get too many of 'your kind' here." It’s hard to combat that kind of thinking. Especially when you are young. What do I tell my kids when they can see this kind of hatred spewed forth on the web? I can’t protect them from everything anymore like I could when they were little. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare.

As a Jew, I’m terrified that there could be another attempt to exterminate Jews. Intellectually, I know that this is already going on in other parts of the world, against other cultures. Darfur, Rwanda, Sudan... the list is endless, and unfortunately everyone turns a blind eye to it unless they are personally affected.

My heart breaks for the little boy who lost his father yesterday. And although I hate to say it because I really don’t like to wish death on anyone, I wish the outcome had been the other way around.

The fact that this web site, and other hate-filled sites that advocate hate and illegal hate crimes are allowed to thrive on the internet while people are being asked to put away their books because the covers are offensive is, frankly, completely disgusting to me. Others are worried about pronography. And while I agree that this is a concern, I’m more worried about propaganda and hatred. People, take a big gulp of STFU and learn what’s really important, for fuck’s sake.

I heart Lauren Dane

2009-06-10T12:25:00.001-05:00

Just sayin.

Go forth and read...

Plus, she is just the nicest lady in the whole wide world.

Sony PRS-505 $100 off at Borders

2009-06-09T12:19:00.004-05:00

Borders is offering a coupon through June 14 for the Sony PRS-505 if you are a Rewards member (and frankly, who isn't?).

Use Sony505Read as the promo code at borders.com

Please note, it's valid only in US Stores (sorry, Canadian friends)

Monday Reckoning

2009-06-08T10:57:00.005-05:00

It's been a long time since I've done a Monday Reckoning. I really need to get back to it.

I stopped right around the time I took my cruise. I think you can guess why, LOL. But I feel good now, and I'm back on the straight and narrow. Here we go...

I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal. If I could be less of a whale and more of a seal, I'd be happy, LOL...

Delayed, but not forgotten... Sylvia Day bookwatch

2009-06-04T10:00:00.000-05:00

So, Sylvia Day has been a busy lady. She had 2 books release on 2 June: In the Flesh, a SF/Futuristic/Fantasy written as Livia Dare, and Eve of Destruction, the 2nd book in the Marked series, an Urban Fantasy written as S.J. Day.

But what I truly love more than anything are her historicals. I've seen so much press from her lately about her new releases, I wondered what was going on with her Sylvia Day persona. Turns out, there is a new historical on the horizon, just no release date. Amazon has it listed as 25 Aug 09; BN.com has it listed as Sept 2009. Sylvia's website has this to say: "This release date has been delayed. I'm so sorry. I promise to keep you posted on the new on-sale date as soon as I know more."

*sob*

Anyway, just to give me my fix, and whet your appetite, here's the blurb for Pride and Passion via SylviaDay.com: Wealth has its dangers…

There are disadvantages to being an heiress, as Eliza Martin knows well. Fortune hunters flock to her, acquaintances lie and pander, and lately, someone is engineering “accidents” to propel her to the altar. But Eliza will not be bullied, and she will get to the bottom of this plot. All she needs is a man to infiltrate her assemblage of suitors and find the culprit. Someone not easily noticed; a proficient dancer, quiet, and even-tempered.

…so do certain men

Thief-taker Jasper Bond is entirely too large, too handsome, and too dangerous. Who would believe that an intellectual like Eliza would be seduced by a man of action? But the combination of her stubbornness and the mystery makes the case one Jasper can’t resist. Client satisfaction is a point of pride and it’s his pleasure to prove he’s just the man she needs after all…

Does anybody know anything more about this one? I need my fix.

A totally spoilery post about A Hint of Wicked

2009-06-03T10:44:00.003-05:00

I posted a review about A Hint of Wicked last night over at I Just Finished Reading. But I got to thinking about how damn hard it was to write it without giving away the farm, and I was dying to talk about the book! SO I wrote a second post - one full of spoilers (there are plenty of warnings at the top of the post, don't worry).

If you've read the book, please come on over and share your thoughts - spoilers welcomed and wanted. I'm dying to know what you thought without anyone having to worry about giving it all away!

Reading on the iPhone

2009-06-02T09:47:00.003-05:00

So in response to the SmartBitches' post yesterday about certain books being $1.99 over at Amazon, I immediately downloaded Kindle for iPhone and bought A Hint of Wicked.

Holy bejeebers, was it good! I'm going to see if I can squeeze in time to review it today while I'm at work, that's how good it was. I won't have time tonight, since it's Jeff's birthday! Happy birthday, baby boy! K, not really a baby anymore, but he'll always be my baby :)

Anywho... point being, aside from my worries that I would run out of battery life (I didn't, but I read super fast), reading on my iPhone totally rocked. And did I mention, it was $1.99??? The only drag is that I can't send the book over to anyone now that I've finished it.

How about you? If you have an iPhone or an iTouch, do you read on it? Do you like it?

Raise your hand if you've ordered this... aka WTF, Amazon?

2009-05-29T10:35:00.006-05:00

WTF, Amazon? Seriously?

Now I know I just backed up Holly when I commented on her Amazon post that I buy almost exclusively from Amazon online, but for this one? If you haven't read it yet? Amazon - $84.99. BN.com - $7.99.

I believe that's what we call in the Brockmann world, a clusterfuck. Or in the regular world of databases: oops, my bad.

Who are you? (who, who... who, who?)

2009-05-29T09:38:00.005-05:00

I saw this over at Kristie's, and thought it would be fun. I loved Star Trek, both TOS and the movie (the first one and the last one, LOL).

Your results:
You are Beverly Crusher

Beverly Crusher		75%
Geordi LaForge		60%
Deanna Troi		55%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		50%
Chekov		50%
Uhura		50%
Jean-Luc Picard		50%
Will Riker		50%
Data		48%
Mr. Scott		45%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		40%
Worf		40%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		40%
Spock		39%
Mr. Sulu		20%

A good physician and a caring parent.
You are devoted to your children
and to your occupation.

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character am I?" quiz...

My uncle, the mobster... immortalized

2009-05-25T23:16:00.004-05:00

My great-uncle, Sidney Korshak, lawyer to the mob, will be immortalized in an HBO mini series. Should I be proud or embarrassed?

He was the subject of an entire series in Doonesbury in 1979, too, tying then governor (now Attorney General) Jerry Brown to the Chicago mob. I still remember my mom being horrified. Yeah. Proud. And embarrassed.

He's likely the only member of my family to rate a spread in the NY Times when he passed away.

The book, which I'm still reading: Supermob: How Sidney Korshak and His Criminal Associates Became America's Hidden Power Brokers

Truth or fiction, the view from under 4 feet.

2009-05-22T09:53:00.003-05:00

***Thanks to Lori and Anne for carrying this blog! And apologies for dropping off! Life interuptus.***

When I picked up my 6-year-old son from school the other day, I asked about his field trip to the local ice cream joint. His entire elementary school, including 6 kindergarten classes, was bussed to the downtown area for ice cream. Then, class-by-class, they all walked back to school.

He recounted the bus ride, including the bus driver's three trips around a block before finding a place to drop them off. He explained that he ended up with a chocolate ice cream cone, cuz they were out of Superman--which is now called SuperKid he noted.

Then he told me about their experience at the pond--a little sidetrip on the walk back to school. Told me he caught a turtle. In a net. A net with turtle food in it to lure them. He told me about a poisonous frog and went into great detail about how the frog uses its poison to protect itself from other animals.

I'm paraphrasing here, considerably shortening up his richly detailed account. But trust me, I was enthralled and entertained. I took him to his after-school daycare and returned to work.

When I picked him up after work, our chat began anew. And he mentioned that he saw a turtle at the pond. "I thought you caught a turtle," I said.

He responded, very nonchallantly, "Oh no, we didn't catch any. We just saw one. That was a story."

Dilemna? Or no? Story? Or lie?

A bit of a struggle for us right now. There is no question, my son is a great, great storyteller. Imaginative, but realistic enough to pull the listener in and keep her there. Beginning, middle and end--with sound order and flow. And soooo rich in detail, it awes me.

This is talent, IMO. And I encourage it ruthlessly. However, I do ask that he tell me--up front--when he is about to tell me a story. I've instructed him to show the same respect to everyone else in his life as well. He complies with that request more often than not.

But those times he does not? Potential problem I guess. That line between truth and fiction. Between a little boy's imagination--wanting to recount an event the way he wishes it had played out, instead of the way it did play out.

I did that as a child, mostly in my own head though. Did you? Healthy, right? I think so. Most of the time. But I'm worried a little too.

So how do you encourage the storyteller and, at the same time, instill those critical values of honesty, truthfulness?

Great add-on for Firefox

2009-05-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

If you use Firefox, you may want to try this add-on: Hyperwords. It allows you to highlight a word (or string of words) and do everything from search on Amazon, Google, or eBay to translate it to a different language, to twittering or blogging about it, to emailing it.

Find it at http://www.hyperwords.net
Here's the add-on: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1941

The flowers...

2009-05-21T17:09:00.003-05:00

Arrived at my desk this morning :)

Dear Bob...

2009-05-21T05:00:00.015-05:00

Dear Bob,

Fifteen years ago, we stood in front of our family and friends and swore our love to one another. Everyone there was so relieved, including the rabbi. He made mention of how our relationship was not only rare, it was "well done." He was so flustered that we finally did it (after 9 long years) that he asked you if you took me to be your husband. To which you said No. Which flustered him even more, but made the entire congregation laugh, including us. And when my sister pumped her fist in the air and gave a "Yes!" after we both said our "I Dos", we all laughed again. Our wedding service was a foretelling of our married life – filled with laughter and love.

I remember you singing "By My Side" to me at the reception. A love song you wrote just for me. You woke up in the middle of the night one night and felt me next to you and the words just came to you. I wish I had the talent to express my love to you in a similar fashion. But, alas, I will have to settle for writing you a love letter. One to fold up and place with all the other letters I’ve saved since we met and fell in love in 1985.

The last 24 years have been the most wonderful time of my life. Together we’ve grown up – from teenagers into adults. From selfish, tunnel-visioned kids into open-minded grown-ups with the room in our hearts to encompass our children, our nieces and nephews, our multiple in-laws, and our ever-growing extended family.

I have watched you become a teacher, an uncle, and finally, a father. In each of these roles, you are loving, fair, kind, and compassionate. Your students connect to you in a way that they don’t connect to many others. Our nieces and nephews adore you (how many other uncles out there are nicknamed Uncle Weenie? - Yes, there’s a story attached to this, and no, it’s not perverted.). And I could wax poetic on how amazing a father you are. You have raised up two of the most incredible kids. They are smart, caring, loving, talented kids. Everything that they know about how to treat other people, they learn by your example. You have infinite patience – far more than I!

Our boys will be wonderful to me when we all grow older. They’ve got your example to follow. You take such good care of my mom – no matter what she asks of you, you are always there to fix her TV remote, paint her wall, move her furniture... whatever. Children learn by example, and you set the bar high. I fully expect to be treated like a queen in my dotage. (Feel free to pass that along, BTW).

You’ve shown them the proper way to treat a woman simply by the love and respect that you show me every single day. You always put a smile on my face, always have a gentle touch, never raise your voice, put up with PMS, put up with my book-buying habits, my mood swings, my family, my weight fluctuations... all with a smile and a loving word. Never, ever, ever complaining that there might be something I could do better, or that you wish I was somehow different. You run out to get me ice cream when I crave it. When I have PMS, you find a way for me to be by myself (happy side effect for you is that I’m out of your hair – yes, I’m well aware). You would do anything for me. And I know it. I only hope that you know the feeling is mutual. Oh so mutual.

And did I mention that just looking at you all these years later still makes my heart skip a beat? I love the lines that time has worn on your face. The laugh lines around your blue eyes are gorgeous. I love that your butt still looks un-freakin’-believable in your jeans. I love that you let me warm my cold feet on you in bed without complaint. I love that you have the freakiest sense of humor in the world. And I even love that you have taught our kids to belch and fart properly. How twisted is that? Because you all have fun together doing it. (Ugh). I love that you make me laugh hysterically at the dinner table every night. I love that we finish each other’s sentences. I love that, as the card said and we now jokingly call ourselves, we are two butts with a single mind. And I love that after all these years, you still rock my socks off in bed. Even when we’re laughing at the same time. Which happens a lot.

I wrote this post 2 years ago at our anniversary, and in it still holds true.

You said it best on the first cassette tape you put together of love songs for me, way back in '85...
"You’re my castle, you’re my cabin and my instant pleasure dome.
Wherever we’re together, that’s my home.
You’re my home."*

Our song...
Walk Forever By My Side**

And in the last one you wrote to me, just a few weeks ago...
"I belong to you. I don't know how I know it, but I belong to you. Sometimes I don't show it. But I know I do. Baby, I belong to you."***

All my love and happy anniversary,
LJ

* © Billy Joel
** © The Alarm
*** © Jim Bianco

2 yummy drink recipes

2009-05-20T16:35:00.004-05:00

So two of my favorite people posted yummy drink recipes today. Holy mother... they both look sooo good! Just in case you don't follow their blogs, I thought I'd share.

Christine posted this:
Frappucino Martini
This is a serve 1 (or two) drink.

NJ Walters posted this one:
Summer Slush
This is a base that you keep in the freezer and drink with a white/clear soda.

Holy begeebers, they both sound so good!

I tried to stay out of the controversy... honest

2009-05-20T09:52:00.005-05:00

I tried really hard to stay out of this. Honest I did. I never make comments on other people’s posts about controversial issues (ok, hardly ever). Holly wrote a post a few months back about authors and other folks asking for financial assistance on their blogs. I purposefully didn’t reply to that because I’m torn on the issue, honestly. However, IMHO, this goes beyond the pale.

Lucy Monroe, whom I happen to adore as an author, has hardly made an appearance on her own blog in months. I’ve been debating whether or not to unsubscribe, because I really don’t care what Andre the promo guy has to say. I want to read Lucy’s blogposts. Yesterday pretty much made up my mind for me.

We all have money issues. Things come up. But your promo guy asking for money for new tires for your band's van? On your blog? Really? It’s one thing if someone is ready to be kicked out of their home. But to pay for new tires for your van? Srsly?

Well, I’m gonna join in the fray then.

I have two kids to send to college. Anyone want to donate? Leave me a comment and I’ll send you their college fund’s account numbers.

I have to get a car wax. Living in So Cal, having a high profile vehicle is just too important, and my Honda Accord needs its summer wax job. Anyone want to donate? Leave me a comment, and I’ll send you my Paypal account number.

I have to get my hair highlighted again. Anyone want to donate $100 to the cause? It would help me out, seriously.

As I said, I was ready to unsubscribe to Lucy’s blog prior to this – not for any reason other than I subscribed because I liked hearing about her writing experiences and what was going on with her. I already pretty much skim over and 'mark as read' all the blogposts over there. Which saddens me. But this is too much. I think Lucy needs to take a little more care with her online presence. She’s a fabulous author. She hasn’t written a thing I don’t care for. Will I stop buying her books? Absolutely not! Will I stop reading her blog? Yup.

What say you? Too much chutzpah for these times?

Edited to add: Lucy Monroe has deleted the post and posted an apology here.

FYI--American Idol

2009-05-19T19:37:00.003-05:00

FYI--I want Kris Allen to win American Idol. Adam is too screamy and drives me wonky...AND... he's hot. Dude, seriously.

I have to wait until November???

2009-05-15T00:16:00.004-05:00

Elizabeth Hoyt has put up an excerpt for To Desire a Devil, the last in the Legend of the Four Soldiers books. I haven't been paying attention to who the next book was about. But holy crap!!! Since she has an excerpt up, I don't feel bad saying - it's Reynaud!!!

Courtesy of elizabethhoyt.com: NOTHING IS MORE INTOXICATING—
Reynaud St. Aubyn has spent the last seven years in hellish captivity. Now half mad with fever he bursts into his ancestral home and demands his due. Can this wild-looking man truly be the last earl’s heir, thought murdered by Indians years ago?

OR DANGEROUS—
Beatrice Corning, the niece of the present earl, is a proper English miss. But she has a secret: No real man has ever excited her more than the handsome youth in the portrait in her uncle’s home. Suddenly, that very man is here, in the flesh—and luring her into his bed.

THAN SURRENDERING TO A DEVIL.
Only Beatrice can see past Reynaud’s savagery to the noble man inside. For his part, Reynaud is drawn to this lovely lady, even as he is suspicious of her loyalty to her uncle. But can Beatrice’s love tame a man who will stop at nothing to regain his title—even if it means sacrificing her innocence?

Me want! November? Srsly?

Thank you, Blanche!

2009-05-08T21:16:00.004-05:00

I need to thank my friend Blanche for a couple of reasons. First, I just won a honkin generous prize over at her blog. If you haven't been over there before, you should visit.

But mostly, I have to thank her for always buying so many damn books. Today, when the box from eHarlequin arrived on the doorstep, and Bob pulled it in and gave me the raised eyebrow and started talking to the dog... "Oh look Teddi, it's a box. Of books. From Harlequin. Again. For your mother." I'd about had it. So I dragged him in to see Blanche's blog, where she regularly talks about the amount of books she buys, pretty much on a daily basis. AND how her wonderful hubby doesn't even say a word about it. Suddenly, one box of books didn't seem so bad. Heh.

So, thank you Blanche!

On another note, I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's day, whether you're celebrating with your mother, your children, both, or whatever.

And one last bit of housekeeping. In a last ditch effort to deal with the spam we've encountered here, I've turned on comment moderation for posts older than 14 days. So come often, LOL!

Alright you....

2009-05-07T09:04:00.005-05:00

Alright you bleeping spammer! You spammed over 300 messages on this blog and that means I had over 300 messages in my inbox. You suck. You suck great big hairy donkey balls (as Karen would say). Now go back into the cave or hole that you crawled out of and stop spamming! You remind me of a fly... always pesty, always buzzing around until I get out the fly swatter and squash it. Heh. Now, go 'way!

Walking for the Cause

2009-05-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hey all,

I'm walking in the Relay for Life again this year. It's being held on October 10. Yes, that gives you plenty of time to donate, but if you do it now, you won't forget! It's held on my birthday weekend every year. My wish would be to meet my fundraising goals and give big to the fight for a cure. Won't you help? Visit my personal page at the ACS to see why I'm walking. If you're one of those "special people" (/snort) who are my friend on Facebook, LOL, you can donate through there as well.

Thanks in advance for your support each and every year. I hope you know it means the world to me!

Speaking of Facebook, Lauren Dane & Megan Hart have a great ~~rant~~ discussion up about it. It's dead on the money. Check it out.

Word choice is everything

2009-05-06T18:14:00.004-05:00

I was reading this news article about the current Miss California USA, who is raising controversy wherever she goes by being an advocate for the National Organization for Marriage. It seems that topless photos of her modeling have appeared (shocking, I know for a beauty pageant contestant). The following paragraph made me LMAO: (note the bolding below was done by me)

"The detailed document prohibits the titular Miss California from making personal appearances, giving interviews or making commercials without permission from pageant officials..."

Of course she's dismissing the entire episode, saying that she's a model, and that's what models do. Frankly, I happen to not really care if these girls pose topless or not. So I really agree with her. BUT, I would venture a guess that if it was the girl who won the Miss USA pageant (Miss North Carolina, and Miss Cali - our girl - was runner-up) she might be singing a different tune.

And I post this, not to even discuss the issue, not to discuss the controversy, or anything else. I only posted it because I found their word choice freakin' hilarious, given the context.

They Come in Threes...

2009-05-06T16:45:00.005-05:00

They say these things come in threes... I wonder who is next? (although I have to be fatalistic).

First, we lost Maude.

Then we lost Dom DeLuise.

Now I have to wonder, who's next? It seems we're losing an entire generation of entertainers, doesn't it? All the folks I grew up watching. My heart goes out to their family and friends, and to my own children and their generation - who will never experience the wonder of seeing these uber-talented people entertain, except through the wonder of reruns.

A little peace in my heart this morning...

2009-05-05T09:19:00.001-05:00

When he was just little, G never failed to ask me for a story at bedtime. Not from a book mind you, but one I made up. About him, LOL. So I would dutifully recount something that happened to him that day or the weekend before. Always careful to include every detail, from the smell on the breeze to the clothes he wore. And always culminating with whatever accomplishment he'd enjoyed.

Don't recall when that fell off and book reading began. But here in the last month or so, he's gone back to my storytelling. And both the writer and the Mom in me just love it. I could tell the story of my son til the end of my days.

Lookee!! Lookee!!

2009-05-02T11:13:00.002-05:00

So it's not a FlipVideo, but look what I got last night. Me very excited.

Needless to say, I was up until 2 playing with it. Me very tired, too.

Weekend Plans?

2009-05-01T12:52:00.005-05:00

I'm stoked. I found the missing $50 in Barnes & Noble giftcards I thought were gone forever. Any guesses as to what I'm doing this weekend? Heh.

Plus, I have $50 in Amex giftcards burning a hole in my pocket. Bob & I thought about going out for a nice dinner on it, but I'm leaning more toward buying this:

What are you guys doing this weekend? Planning on buying any books? Duh....

Made it back in one piece

2009-04-26T22:01:00.003-05:00

Hey all... I made it back from the cruise in one piece, didn't jump overboard after one week in a room with my mom, and only gained 4 pounds in the 10 days I've been away. Gah!

I missed the hell out of my family. It feels like I haven't seen them in 2 full weeks - they were all away in Tahoe for a week, then we crossed paths for one day, then I left. I'm so happy to see my guys.

I read a ton of books, and I will be posting on some of them, dammit. I need to get back to reviewing. Seriously. Highlights were:

Always - Lauren Dane - awesome contemporary
Past Promises - NJ Walters - as always, NJ was fantastic
Facing It - Linda Winfree - I liked Tick again, thank goodness... interesting premise, too
Hot in Here (ARC) - Sophie Renwick - really, really good. review forthcoming
Acting Naughty - GA Hauser - seriously good
The Duke to Die For - Amelia Grey - first in a trilogy. liked it a lot

Acting Naughty is a M/M Linden Bay romance, available at Samhain. Wow - I loved it. Very well done, very good romance, and very hawt. I'm off to get the followup, which follows the same characters. Normally I hate that, but it looks interesting...

Til later...

The end of an era

2009-04-17T23:41:00.007-05:00

We took Steve to Baskin Robbins tonight for ice cream. Jeff is, of course, not home - what else is new? I went to order my usual... Chocolate Mousse Royale. They don't have it - it's out of rotation. *sigh* So I ordered an old favorite. Chocolate Fudge. I was informed that BR does not carry Chocolate Fudge any longer. WHAAAAT???? Seriously?

This is an... abomination, apocalypse (that was Steve's), atrocious, horrifying, and just plain wrong. Who didn't grow up on chocolate fudge and french vanilla? Yeah, you had to pay the extra $0.10 per scoop, but it was soooo worth it.

From the BR site (taken after I got home...), the description:
Chocolate Fudge Ice Cream
Ice Cream/Classic Flavors
This chocolate lover's delight since 1946 is made with rich and fudgey Chocolate ice cream bursting with chocolate flavor.

This aint no pansy-ass chocolate ice cream. This is rich and fudgey chocolate ice cream. The dark brown one. Note the "Classic Flavors" and since 1946. So WTF Baskin Robbins? Your website says you have it. Give me my chocolate fudge, and give it to me now!

This message brought to you by your local PMS Anonymous chapter.

I was so close

2009-04-16T15:35:00.005-05:00

Or... just when you think you've made ends meet, somebody moves the ends

I thought I had everything finished. I've been working till 8:00 every night this week trying to get all next week's work finished before I leave on vacation. We've put together an entire package for school districts looking for ways to spend their stimulus money, and I had to create all the landing pages for the campaigns. But my boss, whom I love to death, has changed the books on the pages about 4 times. Every time I finish the pages, she changes the books. If it was a simple listing, it would be no big deal, but there's a lot of coding behind each one in order to make it available to place in your shopping cart. Ugh. And we're talking about over a hundred books here. Grrr......

So these two things exemplify exactly how I feel right now. The little video we shot at the pet store. It was so cute, but if you can see there's this one little mouse stuck on the wheel going for a ride while the others keep running. And the song... well, it's just an awesome song :)

I'm a zombie

2009-04-15T00:39:00.004-05:00

And I guess I mean it in every sense of the word, LOL. But I really meant it in a nice way. I was trolling through my starred posts looking for book recs, and came across this award. Whoops! Thankfully, it's even less than 2 weeks old. Phew! Blanche is so sweet; she gave this to me for introducing her to the SoCal bloggers. Awww... it's the Zombie Chicken Award. Heh. I'm guessing it's a good award *g*. Oh, and if you haven't been to her blog, go!

K then...

So I'm supposed to pass this on to 5 more. To keep it in the spirit it was intended, I'm going to pass it on to the SoCal Bloggers. For always welcoming newcomers with such warmth. You all rock! Let's do it again soon.

Rosie
Tracy
Wendy
Nikki
Holly
Alice
Blanche
Renee
Rowena
Daphne

Bad, bad Mr. Anonymous - and book recs?

2009-04-14T22:53:00.005-05:00

So, I've changed the settings because apparently even word verification isn't enough to stop our resident spammer. You have to have an account somewhere and be signed in. So sorry. Hope it isn't an inconvenience for anyone.

Anyway... I'm trying really hard to shake off the blogging blues. I promise I'll come up with something witty to blog about very soon. Honest. I'm going on a weeklong cruise with my mom - leaving on Saturday. That's bound to give me plenty to ~~bitch~~ talk about, LOL. And oh... the books I've got loaded up in my ebookwise for the trip! Yay me!

E-books I'm taking:
Always - Lauren Dane
Past Promises - NJ Walters
Facing It - Linda Winfree
Hot in Here (ARC) - Sophie Renwick
Pleasure Unbound (yes, really! - Hey, it was $1.99)
Driving Hard & Acting Naughty - GA Hauser
A Desperate Journey - Debra Parmly
Out of the Dark - JoAnn Smith Ainsworth
The Role of A Lifetime - Jennifer Shirk
Turbulent Passions - Anne Rainey
Compromising Positions - Jenna Bayley-Burke
Heat of Passion - Elle Kennedy

I also have a bunch of print saved up. These I can give to my mom when I'm done, for the most part, although the Lisa Jacksons won't interest her. Harlequins are much more her speed. Yeah, come to think of it, she won't go for the Diane Whiteside either. Little too hot. Hmmm.... I do have a bunch of Harlequins that I'm done with, though. Maybe I'll bring those for her.

Print I'm taking:
Malice - Lisa Jackson
Wicked Game - Lisa Jackson & Nancy Bush
It's Hotter in Hawaii - Helen Kay Dimon
The Duke to Die For - Amelia Grey
Southern Devil - Diane Whiteside
Tempted at MN - Jacquie D'Allesandro
Flat Out Sexy - Erin McCarthy

And befre you ask... yes, it's likely that I'll finish all of these. I'll be gone 7 days with nothing to do but lie around on deck. Any other suggestions that I can get on ebook? I really don't want to load down my suitcase with paper. I could use a really good historical. I'm getting contemp'ed out.

If you want to see where I'm going, just go take a look at Beth Williamson's blog. She just got back from the same cruise.

Monday Reckoning

2009-04-13T09:20:00.002-05:00

Not too bad, especially considering there were 2 holiday dinners thrown in the mix...

Happy Birthday, Jennifer B!!

2009-04-13T09:18:00.001-05:00

Wishing you the happiest of days, my friend. I hope you get everything your heart desires.

Another Oops! for KristieJ

2009-04-10T12:34:00.003-05:00

KristieJ posted a hilarious list of Oops! the other day and invited us all to comment and win. I dutifully commented, sharing my propensity to accidentally brew coffee at 10 PM instead of correctly programming the coffeemaker to brew in the AM.

Well, I just discovered another Oops--funny enough to share.

Temps are threatening to warm here. Unsure of where Thursday's temps would go, I decided to grab a spring jacket from the closet for G. I wanted to send it, and his winter coat, with him on his all-day playdate at Seth's.

Went to the closet, spied his spring jacket and grabbed it. Lo and behold, there on the hanger was a white satin bra. MY white satin bra. Apparently, when I washed his jacket (last fall sometime), I bypassed the dryer and simply hung it up to air dry. Like I often do, I slung a just-washed bra over the top of the hanger--also to air dry. Once it (they) dried, I must have just blindly hung it up in the coat end of the closet without pulling my bra off of the hanger.

And I LOVE this particular bra. How did I not miss it?

Now, if you're a man, you're likely envisioning a clandestine romp with a forbidden lover--wherein I inadvertantly left my bra behind, cheating whore that I am.

If you are a woman however, you're heading--this very minute--to your coat closet.

Monday Reckoning

2009-04-08T00:31:00.002-05:00

It's still Monday here in California, even if it says Tuesday on the blog :)

I forgot all about this. I've been so busy at work - put in an 11 hour day today. And I'm trying to get ready for Passover, which begins tomorrow night, and I'm trying to prepare all my stuff for a weeklong cruise with my mom (leaving next Friday), so sorry if I haven't been commenting at your blogs or posting anything lately. Just life...

Anywho... Monday reckoning is here. Down 1 lb.

Watching my words...

2009-03-31T11:46:00.001-05:00

As usual, I start serious...

Couple of nights ago, I was writing a letter to our soldier penpal. At present, he is in Afghanistan, under fire at virtually every moment. As communication is entirely one-sided right now (us to him), I'm struggling to find the right words for him.

I've always chatted away to him about the goings on in our life--especially everything G is doing. And I've usually been able to include responses to items in his letters--thoughts on politics in particular (we essentially picked each other because we share a political science background). But now, neither of these feels appropriate.

The bit I wrote about balancing work and home life feels...wrong. He works 24/7 in unimaginable conditions and hasn't been home in months.

The spring fever rant I included felt off too. He'd no doubt want the snow I'm wishing away and probably longs to experience seasons again.

I know that I should just stuff it in the envelope and send it. Then sit right down and write the next one. It's letters from home he wants. Period.

Same dilemna applies in conversation with almost anyone today. We are remarkably blessed in that both my husband and I are working. Full-time and with some measure of job security. And although we're like so many--with little to no retirement secured--we've also virtually no debt. While this economic crisis is scary, for us, it's a little less scary than it could be. So we're ok.

But...as you all know, I continue to struggle with our "ok." Because it means less time for hands-on parenting. No matter how much we try to make of our time with G now, the void remains. I miss him terribly. And not only do I fear that that ache will never ease, I'm gearing myself up--again--for the guilt I'll carry every day that he spends in daycare this summer. At least now he spends the bulk of the day in school. Once school lets out, we'll both be back to wanting to spend the day with each other. And it will suck. Because we can't.

A difficult challenge for me, but one that pales next to potential homelessness. Know what I mean? Aside from this venue (thank you), I almost always swallow the words--believing they are highly inappropriate or insensitive given the times.

Move to humor....

Of course there are the other odds and funny ends. Like this past weekend, when I was introduced to a man I'd met before--back when he was married to a co-worker of mine, years ago. Errr, before she got herself a boyfriend and left the husband for him. So do I smile, say hello and nice to meet you? Then shut up? Oh no. My mouth continues as I happily tell him that I remember him because I used to work with his wife. Banging head.

Or when I really, really want to grab a few minutes with my book--while DH and the boy watch TV. But then I accidentally flip the TV to the evening national news or some news hour. Nothing torques my DH up like politics and the economy. He spends a lot of time on the road and listens to a great deal of talk radio (as poisonous as any other source of commentary, IMO). Just when I want to read, I end up triggering a conversation that includes Rush Limbaugh. Banging head.

And on to petty...

On the opposite side of the fence--the side where I look agape at folks when they're doing the talking--I can't tell you how many times I'm engaged in conversation (lately) about money or health. One friend confided that her husband's company is near closing. Around a mouthful of take-out lunch, she told me she fears he will come home any day without a job. I care about her, but honestly, all I could process in that conversation was the fact that take-out lunch goes for anywhere between 5 and 10 bucks these days. I replied appropriately, but felt dishonest.

On health, especially among my co-workers now, I end up in conversations wherein I learn of all the diet-related medical issues this one or that one have. I literally have to bite my tongue whenever the woman down the hall shares her diabetes issues with me--because I witness her down 2 to 3 cans of Mountain Dew every morning.

All I can say is you won't find me going on and on about sleeplessness or dull skin. I already know I drink too much caffeinated coffee and I need to quit smoking. For more than just glowing skin. I do my damn best not to invite those truths.

Successfully demonstrating both my mental spaghetti and reliable immaturity...

So how about you? Are you finding yourself watching your words of late?

Monday Reckoning

2009-03-30T09:57:00.002-05:00

I was right! It was water weight. Not ding-dongs. LOL! Nothing ever feels as good as getting on the scale the week after your period. Srsly. I'll probably feel like dog-doo next week, but today, I feel great!

I hit the 5 lb mark. Woohoo!! I'm getting my first pedicure of the spring season in honor of myself.

What do you do to reward yourself when you feel good?

My current favorite picture

2009-03-29T21:17:00.002-05:00

Taken yesterday at a bat mitzvah...

On another note... I've been reading up a storm, but have the blogging blues. How about you? I notice some of my favorite blogs have been a little slower than usual lately. Just busy? Or do you have the blues, too?

Blog Roundup

2009-03-25T14:55:00.002-05:00

Since I'm low on original thoughts...

Rene's post on spring cleaning got me to thinking. First fleeting thought was that I have no need for spring cleaning. I'm anal year-round, LOL. Second thought was more a realization...now that I work full-time outside the home, it doesn't matter how anal I am. I simply don't have time to stay up on kitchen drawers and bathroom cupboards.

I was also reminded of all the little things I notice when I clean house every week--the things I leave for when I have more time. Like nailing down loose baseboard trim, vacuuming the dust from the furnace and hot water heater closet, and washing or replacing shower curtain liners. And oh hell, let's just be honest and include all the things I've shaved off my weekly house cleaning...like Windexing the front of my dishwasher and stove or washing the kitchen throw rugs. Sigh.

Before this moment, the only thing on my "spring" To Do list was swap seasonal clothes and cull the outgrown clothes from G's wardrobe. Ah well.

Segues nicely into Rosie's comments on time--or lack of it. She's right--physical fitness consumes a good chunk of our time. Right now, I'm doing both my cardio and resistance training before sunrise. Frankly, it sucks. Because I had to add cardio--the minute I sat my ass behind a desk for a living--my morning workout is twice as long as it used to be. I no longer have time for a cup of coffee over the morning news and, on more days than not, I head out of the house with wet, unstyled hair.

[To Rosie, a quick note. If you can figure out how to squeeze weight training in, you'll love, love, love the results. Been meaning to tell you that, LOL. Power and grace...the coolest benefits in the world.]

And that image of unstyled hair reminds me of Stacy's post on finding our "pretty." Clearly, for me, it is not in silky locks. I do like pink toenails, clear polish on my fingernails, cool sunglasses and clear glossy lips, and sexy underwear, and...well, that's enough for now. A fun post Stacy--another in this overall "woman" theme we have going on this week.

On reading...hmmmm. I'm in a slump, so Nath's post comes to mind. But where she is presently unable to choose a book to read, I'm just plain unable to enjoy a book to read. I swear I started Krentz' Running Hot two weeks ago...not even half way through it. It's good, but not a page-turner and I'm not able to pick it up for more than 10 minutes at a time--once or twice a day. I keep thinking I should put it down and find a page-turner--one that would compel me to give up sleep in order to finish it. At least that way I would feel like I'm reading.

I'm pretty sure I miss reading. For the joy of it, I mean. Some days I fear my disappointment is more in the fact that I'm not keeping up, than in the actual missing of the escape romance provides. I used to joke that I read like it's my job. Maybe not so funny...not when reading less makes me feel like I'm falling down on the job.

Not far off Jessica's post over at Racy Romance Reviews. Her inability to keep up with her Google Reader is giving her fits. That happens to me too. Conversely--and perversely--I'm just as frustrated when I am caught up with everyone's posts. Leaves me feeling deserted.

So there it is ladies. I'm a mental patient with biceps and shiny lips.

Monday Reckoning

2009-03-23T20:27:00.003-05:00

Today is not a happy day. I maintain it's all PMS water weight. The Ding-Dongs I ate on the road trip to Monterey have absolutely nothing to do with this. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

+2 lbs. PMS sucks the big one.

Movie previews

2009-03-23T12:19:00.004-05:00

Tell me why it is that movie previews are so damn violent? On Saturday night, we took the boys to see Knowing, the new Nicholas Cage movie. We debated whether Steve was ready to see it or not, but it's rated PG-13, and based on the synopsis, we figured it would be ok. He's usually fine with movies of that nature.

The first thing we saw were 2 previews for R-rated movies. Horror flicks that, frankly, creeped me out so much that I was cringing in my seat with my eyes covered. I looked over at Steve, sitting next to me, and the poor kid was shivering. Literally, quaking in his shoes. Before the movie even started, he was asking to go back to the hotel (we were in Monterey for the weekend).

We got him sufficiently calmed down, and there were a couple more previews for PG-13 movies after that. Movie begins. Right off the top, it opens with a somewhat paranormal element with a kind of creepy little girl. I think, no I know, he would have been ok with it had those previews not preceded the movie. He's seen far worse, far creepier stuff. But within a half hour, he was begging to leave.

I took him out and we walked into Witch Mountain (which can I say? Nothing like the Witch Mountain I remember from my youth, LOL!). We watched that while Jeff & Bob watched Knowing.

Here's what I want to know. Who the F do I complain to about previews? It was so freaking inappropriate. My child hasn't slept for two nights. Seriously.

And I really wanted to see Knowing, dammit.

Overheard at the pool

2009-03-23T11:28:00.001-05:00

My friend Lisa and I were standing in the "big" pool, listening patiently while our six-year-old boys worked up the courage to tackle the water slide. Long-time swimmers in the "small" pool, both want to move up, now that they're so much older and capable. Our rocket water slide is a big step.

D: "You go."

G: "No."

D: "Yeah, you do it."

G: "Uhhhh, no." (Wonder where he gets that Uhhhh from, LOL.)

D: "Come on. Do it. Then you can rub it all in my face."

LMAO! Her and I laughed so hard. Specially cuz he accompanied that statement with a rapper hand move.

Ah well. Gone are the days where we overhear them citing manner rules--drilled at daycare and pre-school--to each other.

Oh, and they BOTH did it. At least a bazillion times each.

Bookwatch

2009-03-23T09:45:00.004-05:00

Mired in a brutal marriage for far too long, Ruthie Chason takes her courage and her children in hand to flee the trap that has become her life. Yet she’s no fool. She knows he’ll come after her once he discovers she possesses criminal evidence that will put him away for good—and seal her deadly fate if he ever catches up with her.

Sheriff’s Deputy Chris Parker offers emotional refuge, a safe place to begin to reclaim her life...if she can let herself trust the strong, quiet cop that far.

Chris surprises himself when he agrees to act as guardian for Ruthie and her children. He does it as a favor, then finds something about her calm strength soothes his battered soul. Now if only he can silence the demons from his past that make him cautious of falling too fast for any woman.

Available April 7.

Their need explodes into a heart-stopping night of passion that exposes their deepest vulnerabilities. But just as they begin to explore how healing love can be, violence tracks them down. And backs them into a desperate corner...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For Linda Fletcher, the sign in front of her new business says it all. Past Promises Antiques is her declaration of independence from her powerful and manipulative family—and a vow to herself that her future will be different.

She never considered herself the no-strings-affair type, but the chemistry between her and her newly hired handyman is too intense to ignore. Moving to Jamesville was a bold step, so what’s the harm in taking one more—into his arms?

Levi Mann’s shadowed past keeps his bags packed light and his feet on the move. But one look at Linda, and he finds himself willing to hang around—just long enough to figure out what it is that triggers their explosive passion.

Available April 7.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love both these authors. Both books are continuing series. I'll say this though. The Jamesville series (NJ Walters) can all be read as standalones, so don't feel badly if you haven't read them before. Pick this one up! (And all the others, you won't be disappointed). The Hearts of the South series, though it can be read as stand-alones, is better read as a series.

Both are available from Samhain.

And on one last note, I find it simply amazing how much SPAM I send to myself. Really, don't I have anything better to do?

PMS wreaks havoc on a diet

2009-03-17T23:24:00.001-05:00

Just sayin.

There is no such thing as too much time.

2009-03-17T11:53:00.001-05:00

My OB-GYN's husband died late last week. I learned of his death on Saturday and have not been able to shake the images (flashbacks) to six years ago--when I saw her routinely for pre-natal care. She was pregnant with their fourth child, he was a stay-at-home-Dad and I envied them their up-north, outdoor life. I wasn't sure at that point in time if my DH and I were going to be able to pull it off. It was a very difficult time for me and my OB-GYN was one of the few silent pillars of strength I've known in my lifetime.

Today, knowing how she and her children must be aching, I flashback to those images. I see her face and think to myself 'she doesn't know what tragedy lies ahead for her'.

None of us do.

It's morbid. But it appears to be a new step in my grieving process. This is the fourth time in as many months that I've grieved the loss of a friend or acquaintance. It's been the same every time. My mind instantly flashes to the "before" and I'm stuck, for days, re-living and seeing it all again, but with the knowledge that it ends sooner than we expect.

I'm a person of faith. I'm ok on that point (for lack of a better way to say it).

But I'm left, every time, on this edge of anxiety. Made vulnerable by the indescribable love I have for my 6-year-old son. Please God, don't shorten our time. He still needs me. I will always need him.

And sobered to what matters most. Why do I still let the most impotent of shit cloud my perspective, pull me out of my "moments" with loved ones? A daily battle when it should be a way of life, a manner of thinking so ingrained that I never leave the tracks.

I keep at it.

Not only because I want to grow old, but because I want to do it with as few regrets as possible.

I recall a conversation I had with my Aunt Wanda. At age 85, she told me about the woman who lived across the street from her when the kids were little. This woman had a gaggle of her own kids and my Aunt recalled how they went in and out of that house all day long, hands smudging the glass pane of the front door. My Aunt never remembered seeing the woman clean that glass pane. Instead, she remembered seeing the woman playing with her kids.

My Aunt ended by saying, "If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have spent my time watching her through my own glass door--while I dutifully cleaned it. I would have played with my children instead."

My Mom's sister, she imparted this wisdom to me just after my Mom had chided me for playing with my son too much. My Mom had said: "He doesn't play well by himself. That's because you play with him too much."

Not too much.

More like never enough.

It will never be enough.

That's how I want to live, I think. Like it will never be enough and I want more, more, more. From every day and every moment.

Monday Reckoning

2009-03-16T09:40:00.002-05:00

Here we go...

I lost 2 lbs! Woohoo!!!!

All About Me by the Man to Die For

2009-03-10T22:54:00.007-05:00

So there's a Meme going around where we ask our kids questions about ourselves, and have them answer them. Holly decided to turn it around and have MM answer them. I thought I'd have the Man to Die For do the same. So here's his take on me.

1. What is something I always say to you? I love you.

2. What makes me happy? Being covered in warm laundry.
(I'm a serious freak. He dumps all the laundry fresh out of the dryer onto me. I love it!)

3. What makes me sad? Hmmmm. You're not often sad. When you are, it's the big stuff, like your dad passing, or the loss of a pet.

4. How do I make you laugh? Snorting when you laugh. Walking into walls. Rambling away on a caffeine induced high.

5. What was I like as a child? Well, I didn't know you then, but you look pretty cute in pictures.

6. How old am I? Younger than me.

7. How tall am I? Depends who you ask and how much hair is included. Officially, I think its 5' 2 and 3/4"

8. What is my favorite thing to do? Can't say that here. Your 2nd favorite thing to do is read romance novels.

9. What do I do when you’re not around? Read romance novels. Didn't you read #8?

10. If I becomes famous, what will it be for? If you becomes famous, it will be for making the world's best lasagna!

11. What am I really good at? Again, I can't really say that here. But you're also an awesome mom to our kids, and you are the best wife ever. You are apparently pretty damn good at your job, since they kind of ask you to do everything. And even though you only play once a year, you're still the best flute player I know.

12. What am I not very good at? Folding my laundry the way I like it or loading the dishwasher efficiently.
(He's just a little anal-retentive, huh? I fold the laundry and load the dishwasher perfectly fine. This is how he ended up being the one to do the laundry for the last 20-odd years)

13. What do I do for my job? Everything web and email.

14. What is my favorite food? Chocolate. Oh, and also chocolate.

15. What makes you proud of me? You are the anchor of our family. You hold it all together. (sniff)

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be? Tweety Bird

17.What do we do together? Speak in unison, go to concerts, and an occasional movie.

18. How are we the same? Our dads were both physicists, and our moms both nurses, and all lived in Chicago in the late 60's. We have nearly identical socio-political views. We have similar tastes in music, though you lean toward 70's love songs more than I.
(they call me 70s woman!!)

19. How are we different? I'm a boy, you're a girl. Lucky for us!
(Oh so lucky!!)

20. How do you know I love you? I belong to you. I don't know how I know it, but I belong to you. Sometimes I don't show it. But I know I do. Baby, I belong to you.
(sigh. isn't he just the sweetest? listen to the whole song here.)

21. Where is my favorite place to go? Anywhere that's sunny.

Monday Reckoning

2009-03-09T09:34:00.003-05:00

Well, I've figured out that the only way I'm going to lose any weight is if I'm accountable somewhere. So, every Monday, I'm going to report on my progress. GULP. Here we go...

BTW, my ticker is a football in flowers because I'm using it in the sidebar on LITHOT, just in case you were wondering, LOL!

Here a Tweet, there a Tweet...

2009-03-07T20:25:00.004-06:00

I admit it, I'm on twitter. But once I signed up, I found that I got nothing else done. I mean... Nothing. So, I hardly ever go on it anymore. Sorry, if you follow me. Obviously, I have nothing to say, LOL!

Jon Stewart does have something to say though... shocking, I know.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Twitter Frenzy

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

JenniferB: Dinner Conversation

2009-03-04T10:46:00.001-06:00

Sitting down to dinner. Me, my husband and our 6-year-old boy...

DH: Blah, blah, blah about work.

ME: Well, Sheila's back from Denver.

BOY: Who is Sheila?

ME: Momma's boss.

BOY: I thought Norm was your boss.

ME: Oh no Baby. I quit that job a long time ago.

BOY: [puzzled frown]

ME: Don't you remember? Momma had two jobs and I had to pick just one. I picked the new one and Sheila is my new boss.

BOY: Did you use use eenie-meenie-miney-moe to pick?

Winter is back in So Cal

2009-03-04T09:38:00.004-06:00

The view from my office window. Isn't that fog gorgeous?

What a week... sadness and healing faith

2009-02-28T23:16:00.011-06:00

First, I got Anne's surprising, horrible, awful news. Then yesterday, I walked in from work after putting in a 12 hour day at the office and Bob met me at the door, red-eyed. "Babe, I have bad news." Bob never meets me at the door. OK, first thought. Who's in the hospital? Who died?

Turns out, it was a very good friend of ours who moved back to Oregon about 5 years ago. Joe was one of the nicest guys I've ever known. He was in our wedding. He was one of the first people Bob met when he first arrived on the Hollywood rock 'n' roll scene 20 years ago after our college graduation. He was one of those guys that would just do anything for you. But he had a hard time keeping his own act together. He had a son and a daughter - both young adults. My heart aches for them both, and for his parents.

We were already planning on going to temple last night, as it was Yarzheit (death anniversary) for my grandfather. This news made it even more imperative, in my mind, that I go. Bob stayed home to make several dreaded phone calls. I kind of lost it during the service. My sons were there, holding my hands, and wrapping me in their love. I have wonderful boys, no matter how much I complain about them. As I said the familiar prayers, and recited the kaddish for Joe, I felt cleansed and even a little healed. And while I bawled my eyes out, it felt good to be in my house of worship, just that much closer to G-d, at peace, where I could hope that at last Joe has also found the peace that so eluded him here.

So tonight, or whenever you read this, hug your loved ones a little tighter. Thank whomever it is that you look to for your blessings. Because even in these trying times, we have our families, our faith, and hope for a better life for ourselves and our children's futures. And realize that even those good long cries that we have can be cleansing, healing, and a little good for us every now and then.

Joe-Bob, wherever you are tonight, know that we love you and we're thinking of you. We miss you.

(excuse the poor quality picture - this is from our wedding, and by the time I cropped out everyone else, the quality was very bad... but nobody else really wants to see themselves on my blog, and y'all aren't interested in seeing all the people from my wedding eons ago)

Unemployed--Beware Rant and Swearing Ahead

2009-02-25T12:43:00.004-06:00

I'm unemployed, as of last Thursday. Pfffft. Employers suck. They USED me. USED ME. I went to work in-office when slated for a home-based position (gave up my blog time!!!). Yeah. I did THEM a FAVOR... and after 8 months (FIVE MONTHS longer than they anticipated) I get FIRED. Fired. Fired. Fired. 'Scuse my language but... BASTARDS (was thinking the F word but thought this would be better).

Let me tell you one other thing. Last November I moved out and am now officially on my own. So, seeing as I moved out and am TRYING to survive on my income * snort * I am so fucked. Seriously. And depending on what they put down for why they "let me go", I may not qualify for unemployment. All this ONE MONTH before my TEN YEAR anniversary. Bastards.

I am not the first they have done this to nor will I be the last. Again... BASTARDS.

My thoughts and reasonings... they went to editing versus transcribing and now that the system is up and running (with MY help--BASTARDS) they are thinking ahead to the fact that we are going to be twice as productive with the same amount of work and are starting to find reasons to get rid of people. BASTARDS.

So what can I do? All I can do is hope I qualify for unemployment and that I find another job soon. In the meantime, I am writing and hoping to get this book done to get to my agent. A book contract would be awesome... but not holding my breath. Sigh.

So much suckage.

Release Day!!

2009-02-24T12:34:00.004-06:00

It's release day for Beth Williamson! Woohoo!!! If you haven't picked up your copy of The Education of Madeline yet, what are you waiting for? Go forth and buy, buy, buy!!!

So... What's The Deal?

2009-02-19T12:17:00.002-06:00

Is Judith McNaught going to have a new release this year or not? Anyone know? Drives me nuts. Pffft.

Oh, and I am SO going to be broke in July.
Linda Howard - Burn.
Nora Roberts - Black Hills.
Suzanne Brockmann - Hot Pursuit.
Janet Evanovich - Finger Lickin' Fifteen
Suzanne Brockmann- Otherwise Engaged (reprint?)
Nalini Singh - Branded By Fire.

I know there are more, but just those... BROKE... but so worth it. WOOT!

A (happy) update on the headspace thing...

2009-02-17T09:56:00.000-06:00

This past weekend?

DH and I went out for a nice Valentine's dinner with friends on Friday--right after work.

On Saturday, we managed a relaxing morning--during which I looked up more fab crockpot recipes to accompany the one Lori shared last week--and early afternoon--which was when I grocery shopped. Then, we left around 2 to go skiing. Ended up having dinner there again and even let G enjoy himself a bit at the kid's club event (which featured those crazy bouncing/jumping houses--G's all-time fave carnival amusement).

Sunday morning, we went to church. Came home and had lunch. Then I cleaned my house top to bottom and plowed through laundry while the boys relaxed. Just before the vacuum came out--DH and G went outside to do chores and play. So I finished up the housecleaning and polishing without boys or toys underfoot. A bit later, we all hopped on our snowmobiles, strapped G's sled on the back and rode a couple of miles to a humongous sled hill. Played there a bit, rode on to a pub for pops and then headed home. Where I grilled dinner in time for us all to relax in front of the TV for Supercross (dirtbiking). Then, LOL, later, while G was in his bath, I colored my hair. [Bit bummed on that--it is one of my two economic concessions right now...giving up the salon appointments. Hate to color my own hair, blech.]

At any rate...my point? My happy point? We did all of this and, NOT ONCE did I feel rushed or conflicted or put out that I had so much shit to do on the weekend (now that I've limited time during the week). It all just flowed, dare I say it, naturally. No trying to figure out how to fit it all in or how to get alone time to do it in...I just...did it. With my family around. It was like we were in perfect sync, balancing fun and chores with G front and center during both.

Sigh. That's the sound of contentment right there.

Because I love it, Flashpoint is doomed

2009-02-16T01:11:00.012-06:00

Srsly. Every great show that is on that we love seems to get cancelled after only a season or two. We know - if we love it? Kiss of death. We don't watch a ton of TV shows. So when something we watch religiously gets cancelled, we take it personally. Here's our proof:

Freaks and Geeks
Sports Night
Boomtown
Line of Fire
Jericho
Jack and Bobby

So if you haven't seen Flashpoint yet? I highly suggest you watch it. It's so well written and acted... everything. I bet it won't be around very long.

How about you? What shows did you absolutely love that got cancelled after only just a season or two?

The easiest, tastiest recipe ever (plus a note about DoN)

2009-02-12T22:34:00.003-06:00

I made the easiest recipe ever for dinner tonight. You don't even have to defrost the chicken. Just yank it out of the freezer in the morning. Always a plus when you're a working mom. Plus, it's a crock-pot recipe. Again, with the plus column.

4 frozen chicken breasts
1 packet dry Italian dressing mix
1 can chicken broth

Place chicken breasts in crock pot. Sprinkle dressing mix over them, and pour chicken broth over.

Cook on low 8-10 hours.

How easy is that? It was so delicious. We ate it with noodles and salad, but any side dish would do. It was fall-apart tender.

On a separate note... I finished Dark of Night today. (Thanks Nikki!) It rocked. Yup. And Decker? Totally hot. Just sayin'.

Lori Foster speaks out

2009-02-09T13:05:00.004-06:00

We were all surprised, and many of us not pleasantly, by My Man Michael, the latest installment in the SBC Fighter series.

Lori is guest blogging today at The Goddess Blogs about reader reaction. Go check it out!

Garwood recs needed

2009-02-08T23:58:00.004-06:00

OK, I'm ready to take the plunge. I'm one of the few people (in the world?) who hasn't read Garwood. I need some recs on where to start. I know she's written in a multitude of time periods, right? I should say that medieval isn't my favorite, so if she has anything in that time period, it would likely be further down on my list. And I hear her contemps aren't as good as the historicals, and historical is one of my favorite genres anyway. Soooo....

Help a girl out. Where do I start?

Good friends + Good Books = Good Times

2009-02-08T23:08:00.007-06:00

We had another SoCal Blogger meetup today, and had some newbies join us. Woohoo!! We were quite the crowd. A good time was had by all. Lisabea was in from the East Coast, and brought her frigid weather with her. Yes, I said frigid. It was somewhere in the low 50s. Brrrrrrr.... We have thin skin here in SoCal.

We started off in Borders, where I picked up Shattered, When a Stranger Loves Me, Montana Creeds: Logan, and Scandal. Loving life! Then we moved on to PF Changs, where we sat for hours, ate, and talked books, books, and more books. Then we hit the parking lot for our regular book swap, where Nikki tried like hell to give away Second Chance Pass (an almost wallbanger for her), Holly tried to give away a couple she hated (I forget what they were), and I tried to pawn off Chasing Stanley - the only book ever to inspire me to write a scathing review, all with no luck. The Frazier Park, CA library will be loving life once all our leftovers make their way up there (Thanks, Tracy!!). Lots of other books changed hands, though, much to our mutual pleasure.

I'm so glad that Renee and Blanche could join us this time, and hope our loud, obnoxious selves didn't intimidate them *g*. Can't wait to do it again, everyone!

I encourage you to see who is in your area, and get together. It's da bomb!

From L to R:
Blanche, Holly, Me (hidden), Daphne, Tracy, Lisabea, Wendy, Rosie, Nikki, Alice, Renee

The Winner of The Education of Madeline

2009-02-06T21:42:00.003-06:00

Hey Y'all... Thanks so much for all your wonderful comments! I hope that each and every one of you will go out and get The Education of Madeline, cause it seriously rocks. And go over to Samhain and read the Malloy series and the Devils on Horseback series from Beth Williamson as well. Awesome, awesome western historical.

So, without further ado, the winner of an autographed copy of The Education of Madeline is...

MAY!!!

Congrats, May! Can you please send your snail mail addy to mctclover at gmail dot com, and Beth will send your book to you toot sweet. Thanks, and enjoy!

Changing the way Americans think?

2009-02-06T02:31:00.005-06:00

A friend posted this up on her Facebook page. Powerful stuff. It's called His President's Black. Simply awesome. Click on the picture or on the link...

Reading---

2009-02-05T08:28:00.001-06:00

Fragile by Shiloh Walker--an ARC. OMG, it's so good. I'll be doing up a review as soon as I finish it. I so love Shiloh's books. Wooooot!

New Season...

2009-02-03T15:01:00.003-06:00

So, the new season of American Idol has started. Who's watching? Do you watch from the very first airing with all the dorky people who think they can sing and really sound like a drowning hyena? Or do you wait until they get to Hollywood... which is right now. If so... do you watch from round 1 or wait until round 2? Or, do you just wait until they have the final 24?

I usually start watching from the first airing, but not this season. I just couldn't handle it. *G* So, I just started watching since Hollywood and that seems to be working out well for me. I don't have to put up with the horrible contestants, but rather just the good ones who should be there. So, this is all good. I haven't picked out a favorite yet, though the guy with the punk-rocker hair is pretty good. We'll see how it all plays out.

Do you have any faves yet? IMO Bikini Girl should already be gone, but for some reason... she's not. Pfffft.

Thoughts!??

Has Anyone Read...

2009-02-03T15:01:00.002-06:00

First.. HIYA!!! yes, I'm alive. Just... amidst chaos. :-)

Now... Has anyone read SEPs What I Did For Love? What about Susan Donovan's The Girl Most Likely To... ? Thoughts? Any insight is greatly appreciated.

And yet another contest... for the Anti-Valentine's day lover...

2009-02-03T10:59:00.000-06:00

After you've finished with our Beth Williamson contest, head on over to Breezing Through. They're having an Anti-Valentine's Day contest, LOL! How clever is that?!

Publish Post